Motherfucking goddamn cuntrag shitface tribbles

[sharpestscalpel]

I tell you goddamn what: If I find out just who the motherfucker is who brought a goddamn shit-stinking TRIBBLE on board this goddamn ship, I will light his shit-producing asshole on fire with an old-fucking-fashioned flare.

That incandescent fire shit will burn the fuck out of the tender bits.

Ass-sucking, dick-snot, fuckmouths can't listen to a goddamn thing without it falling out the fucking ear hole they got fucked in the night before.

Fuck.

One bitchcakes tribble turned into 13 - I've got the population under fucking control now but holy fucking fuck on a fucking fuck stick. Never figured I'd be reduced to performing fucking abortions on goddamn tribbles but what do you want from me?

Got about five of the little pussy-impersonators left. Got some ideas - things ain't got gender, things ain't got lots of fucking things. Figure I can cut them open and take a closer look. Good times for me.

Comments

[ephram-green.livejournal.com]

I'm going to have to agree with you on hurting the person who brought a tribble aboard. Those things are dangerous.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

They ain't dangerous unless you keep your fucking food stores in easily accessible areas which we fucking do not do. But they are pains in my ass.

[ephram-green.livejournal.com]

Still. They're like...space cockroaches. I wonder why they evolved to be born pregnant.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

Don't take an evolutionary fucking biologist to answer that one, Fed-fuck.

Being fucking born preggers ups the likelihood they'll give birth in time for some of their goddamn offspring to fucking survive.

[science-blues.livejournal.com]

It is evident in 367 individual instances that creatures with such prolific breeding ratios are often either: a) prone to death after a very short duration of life or, b) nutritionally rich.

As the average lifespan of a tribble is 5.6 Terran years, it can be assumed it is not the former. Perhaps it is the latter?

I cannot verify this, but I have been told that species of high nutritional value are frequently delicious.

To waste is illogical.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

...

That's a fucking interesting point, Cheeks.

I got me a little bbq set-up in the back of the Sickbay.... I might try this out. Little fuckers are goddamn furry but if I can't skin a shitting tribble, I might be ashamed to look at myself in the mirror.

[science-blues.livejournal.com]

I am uncertain if I should wish you luck in your endeavor.

... But, as Luck is an inconsequential reference to animatism, and therefore nonexistent, there can be no harm in me wishing it to you.

I would appreciate any notable information you discover.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

You give me 15 to skin it and another 20-30 to roast me up some meat, I'll let you know directly.

Wonder what sort of marinade might be advisable....

[headnursechapel.livejournal.com]

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

Aw, Babylights - the fate of the poor goddamn tribbles making you wibble in your pretty blue panties?

[headnursechapel.livejournal.com]

I was reacting more to your language, actually.

I certainly understand the importance of scientific dissections, especially of species we know little about. And, sadly, the importance of keeping populations of Tribbles tightly controlled, especially in enclosed environments.

I'm sure you gave the tribbles a quick and merciful death.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

My colorful fucking language making your pert little ears burn up?

Bet you come like a fucking earthquake with some goddamn dirty talk in the, ah, moment.

And, yeah - I ain't one for fucking torture of little fuzzy animals.

[nawigator]

B-but they are cute and fluffy. Surely, you can not hurt cute and fluffy animals?

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

Aw, Peaches - it won't hurt them none, I promise. I'll be all humane-like.

[nawigator]

But you said you vhere going to cut them up. How is that humane?

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

Well, that's after they're dead, Precious Girl. And they lack some essential nerve endings when they're alive anyway. Don't mean they don't feel pain but you can poke at them a certain amount without hurting them.

Or so I am finding.

[iss-eyeliner.livejournal.com]

They're excellent in stew. I recommend you try it sometime, sweet stuff.

[loyalty-ever.livejournal.com]

...They make fantastic sandwiches.

[science-blues.livejournal.com]

Fascinating. A confirmation of my previous supposition.

[loyalty-ever.livejournal.com]

My sister was furious with me until she found out two-thirds of a carbo packet and sufficient storage space yields an even dozen.

We ate like kings! Until they were confiscated.

I...have we met? You look familiar.

[science-blues.livejournal.com]

Fascinating, I had not considered their application as a food source for humanoid beings. It is an interesting consideration.

We have not met. You are Romulan. My Rihannsu is not sufficient for conversation, I apologize.

Greetings, I am Spock.

[canadianbill.livejournal.com]

Awesome! Do you think you can find out how come they are bi-sexual for me?

[len-not-spock.livejournal.com]

I'm pretty sure that's got an evolutionary basis as well, Bill.

[canadianbill.livejournal.com]

Yes, but are you going to cut up tribbles and find out for sure?

No, thought not.

[len-not-spock.livejournal.com]

I don't see how cutting them up and eating them will lead to a major scientific breakthrough on their live behaviour.