Motherfucking goddamn cuntrag shitface tribbles

[sharpestscalpel]

I tell you goddamn what: If I find out just who the motherfucker is who brought a goddamn shit-stinking TRIBBLE on board this goddamn ship, I will light his shit-producing asshole on fire with an old-fucking-fashioned flare.

That incandescent fire shit will burn the fuck out of the tender bits.

Ass-sucking, dick-snot, fuckmouths can't listen to a goddamn thing without it falling out the fucking ear hole they got fucked in the night before.

Fuck.

One bitchcakes tribble turned into 13 - I've got the population under fucking control now but holy fucking fuck on a fucking fuck stick. Never figured I'd be reduced to performing fucking abortions on goddamn tribbles but what do you want from me?

Got about five of the little pussy-impersonators left. Got some ideas - things ain't got gender, things ain't got lots of fucking things. Figure I can cut them open and take a closer look. Good times for me.

Comments

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

I wonder why they evolved to be born pregnant.

If you are aware of the evolutionary advantage to being born pregnant than it ain't my job to entertain you with stupid fucking conversation. Ask me something goddamn worthwhile and then maybe we'll fucking talk.

[ephram-green.livejournal.com]

Clearly small talk is lost on you.

Fuck anyone worthwhile lately? Maybe that's a goddamn worthwhile topic.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

That's a fucking personal question. You go sharing your goddamn intimate details with every-fucking-fed you meet?

[ephram-green.livejournal.com]

You seem like the type who would brag about it.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

Looks like you ain't so fucking good at reading people as you thought, Fed-fuck.

[ephram-green.livejournal.com]

That must make me as human and fallible as the rest of my species. Imagine that.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

You really are a tedious fucking pussy Fed, ain't you? Where do you keep your balls? You only haul them out for the occasional usage or what?

[ephram-green.livejournal.com]

Suspended within my scrotum like most other human males. I just don't feel the need to haul them out for every conversation like some peacock display to prove my gender.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

I don't give a fuck about your goddamn gender. I'm talking about your shitting BALLS.

However, if I have to fucking explain it... I know a pointy-eared bastard'd who'd give me the odds on your actually understanding it and they'd be pretty fucking low.

[ephram-green.livejournal.com]

For someone who has claimed to be above binary gender confines, your use of the term "balls" is really sexist.

I should probably ask all four versions of the pointy-eared bastard currently aboard, just to be sure I have consistent data.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

I know my own particular pointy eared-bastard better than all that, now. He ain't so much as acknowledged your fucking existence.

[ephram-green.livejournal.com]

He's not unique in that regard. Half the ship hasn't acknowledged my existence.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

Aw. Poor fucking you.

[ephram-green.livejournal.com]

Yes, I'm completely torn up about it. Whatever shall I do, if no one will validate me? I might even write a poem.

[lt-moreau.livejournal.com]

You don't feel validated? Really? I might think that a slight against my skills.

[ephram-green.livejournal.com]

...it was sarcasm. I forget that it doesn't come across so easily in typed format.

[lt-moreau.livejournal.com]

As was my response.

*sigh*

Lighten up, Ephram. I'm only teasing you.