Motherfucking goddamn cuntrag shitface tribbles

[sharpestscalpel]

I tell you goddamn what: If I find out just who the motherfucker is who brought a goddamn shit-stinking TRIBBLE on board this goddamn ship, I will light his shit-producing asshole on fire with an old-fucking-fashioned flare.

That incandescent fire shit will burn the fuck out of the tender bits.

Ass-sucking, dick-snot, fuckmouths can't listen to a goddamn thing without it falling out the fucking ear hole they got fucked in the night before.

Fuck.

One bitchcakes tribble turned into 13 - I've got the population under fucking control now but holy fucking fuck on a fucking fuck stick. Never figured I'd be reduced to performing fucking abortions on goddamn tribbles but what do you want from me?

Got about five of the little pussy-impersonators left. Got some ideas - things ain't got gender, things ain't got lots of fucking things. Figure I can cut them open and take a closer look. Good times for me.

Comments

[science-blues.livejournal.com]

It is evident in 367 individual instances that creatures with such prolific breeding ratios are often either: a) prone to death after a very short duration of life or, b) nutritionally rich.

As the average lifespan of a tribble is 5.6 Terran years, it can be assumed it is not the former. Perhaps it is the latter?

I cannot verify this, but I have been told that species of high nutritional value are frequently delicious.

To waste is illogical.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

...

That's a fucking interesting point, Cheeks.

I got me a little bbq set-up in the back of the Sickbay.... I might try this out. Little fuckers are goddamn furry but if I can't skin a shitting tribble, I might be ashamed to look at myself in the mirror.

[science-blues.livejournal.com]

I am uncertain if I should wish you luck in your endeavor.

... But, as Luck is an inconsequential reference to animatism, and therefore nonexistent, there can be no harm in me wishing it to you.

I would appreciate any notable information you discover.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

You give me 15 to skin it and another 20-30 to roast me up some meat, I'll let you know directly.

Wonder what sort of marinade might be advisable....

[science-blues.livejournal.com]

Your timetable is reasonable.

As to marinade: I have no experience in this aspect of the culinary realm. I have been informed that alcohol often aids in the overall flavor, but am uncertain if that opinion is directly related.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

I have a variety of fucking options if we're soaking it in liquor. Huh - maybe a beer batter and then frying them.

[science-blues.livejournal.com]

I have experienced this form of cooking on occasion, it is quite delicious.

If the consistency of the meat is curious, however, the addition of it to oil might prove...inappropriate as a cooking solution.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

Huh. Little fucker skinned right tidy. Like taking off a sea urchin shell, kind of. Or peeling an apple whole.

Though, to be fucking honest, I'll just eat the motherfucking skin on an apple.

Any rate - no bones. Got a similar consistency to kushel, of all goddamn things, at least raw.

[science-blues.livejournal.com]

Fascinating.

I would presume that the skin on a tribble would not be as easily digested as the skin of an apple.

The fact that they are mammalian invertebrates, however, is quite curious.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

I am looking on the bright side - at least the little assholes ain't going to be crunchy.

And, yeah - I ain't opposed to downing on the beaver but there ain't no pay-off with these little muff-puppets.

[science-blues.livejournal.com]

I have only encountered two species of humanoid female with genitalia that vibrate in a similar fashion. Beyond those, I do not see the similarity between tribbles and the beaver.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

Vibrate? Now you have caught my fucking interest, Cheeks. We have some notes to goddamn compare! Also, it is only a superficial resemblance. I know some women who favor the natural, ungroomed approach. It's like a fucking shrubbery - and it is awesome.

[science-blues.livejournal.com]

Fucking awesome, perhaps?

The natives of Persius VI, and Sigma Draconius III both share this peculiarity. Be mindful, however, the natives of Persius VI also exude a psychotropic substance through their skin.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

You know it, Cheeks.

I am writing this the fuck down. And psychotropic, huh? That either means fucking while tripping balls or wearing a nonpermeable body suit - which can also be goddamn good times in the sense-dep department.

Pussy fucking kicks ass. I am goddamn thankful there is such a variety of it.

[science-blues.livejournal.com]

I would recommend the latter and then the former.

On this, we are completely agreed.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

That is the most logical order, I agree. And the sense-dep will heighten the ball-tripping.

Where's my goddamn dayplanner? I need to schedule this shit, for real.

Amen and all that hallaluejah shit.

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

I feel a strange new kinship to both of you.

Also, anything fried is delicious. It's some sort of pan-universal law.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

We forming a goddamn pussy admiration society here? I'd fucking join it.

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

I'm fairly certain we already belong.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

Good point.