Secrets Monday

[sharpestscalpel]

Fucking Monday goddamn shit-stained morning. Asshole.

That's damn well figurative language - mornings not having literal assholes.

I figure I seen it going around enough to post it my own fucking self today: Secrets Monday. When a bunch of motherfuckers too scared to put their names to things share their deepest and goddamn darkest.

Y'all know the rules. Comment anonymously and have the fuck at it. I'm feeling like a nosy bastard this morning, I tell you goddamn what.

In fact, y'all feel like putting a twist on it, give me your old secrets, your mean secrets, your shameful ones. Or, not. I don't fucking care.

Comments

[geekiwi.livejournal.com]

Once when I was four years old I stole a toffee bar from a convenience store. In my defense, they were right by the register and I thought they were free.

[geekiwi.livejournal.com]

Oh dear, that wasn't very anonymous, was it.

[canadianbill.livejournal.com]

You're doing it wrong, son.

[(Anonymous)]

At least it wasn't anything deep and dark. Like how I threw up on the first girl I got to second base with.

This is not Karl Urban speaking, just so you know.

[(Anonymous)]

I ain't generally one to say when someone's doing it the fuck wrong but, boy, you might still be doing it damn well wrong. Funny, though.

[(Anonymous)]

I lost my virginity to a prostitute - is that dark?

[(Anonymous)]

Not necessarily, no.

[(Anonymous)]

Hmm. Yeah, it didn't really feel very dark at the time.

[(Anonymous)]

Just out of curiosity, no judgement attached - did you pay for it?

[(Anonymous)]

Uh, yes.

[(Anonymous)]

Huh. I lost my virginity *as* a prostitute.

[(Anonymous)]

That sounds like a story needs airing.

[(Anonymous)]

With the proper incentive, anything's possible.

Perhaps obviously.

[(Anonymous)]

Depends. Was it because you were ugly, because you were shy, or because you had a natural love of the seedy underworld?

[(Anonymous)]

Maybe zie also wanted to make sure it was done right. When in doubt, hire a professional.

[(Anonymous)]

I don't think I thought about it that deeply, to be honest. She asked me if I wanted to, and I thought, why not? My virginity was getting cumbersome.

[(Anonymous)]

I lost my virginity to a brothel owner.

[(Anonymous)]

Oh, did you, now?

[(Anonymous)]

Yep. That was quite the experience.

[(Anonymous)]

At least you've lost your virginity.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

I ain't entirely sure I got an adequate response for you on this one. I just keep thinking of my own fucking childhood exploits.

[geekiwi.livejournal.com]

I wasn't a very bad kid, just became a douchebag when I got to high school.

What kind of exploits, pray tell?

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

My juvenile record is sealed for my own fucking protection as a damn adult. But, lemme think for a goddamn second - when I was four years old, I pitched a bucket full of rocks and sand onto a kid's head from the top of a slide because he done pissed me off. Little asshole was unconscious for three minutes. Best three minutes of my damn young life.

[geekiwi.livejournal.com]

...You were one hardcore youngster, Doctor McCoy.

Did you get in trouble for that stunt?

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

Oh, I got beat to within an inch of my life by the teacher and then mama got hold of me.

Granny bought me some damn ice cream though so, all in fucking all, it was a good day.