Secrets Monday

[sharpestscalpel]

Fucking Monday goddamn shit-stained morning. Asshole.

That's damn well figurative language - mornings not having literal assholes.

I figure I seen it going around enough to post it my own fucking self today: Secrets Monday. When a bunch of motherfuckers too scared to put their names to things share their deepest and goddamn darkest.

Y'all know the rules. Comment anonymously and have the fuck at it. I'm feeling like a nosy bastard this morning, I tell you goddamn what.

In fact, y'all feel like putting a twist on it, give me your old secrets, your mean secrets, your shameful ones. Or, not. I don't fucking care.

Comments

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

I ain't a fucking English major.

[(Anonymous)]

Nor am I. That doesn't mean one necessarily needs to be unrefined.

[(Anonymous)]

I am fucking refined in my pants. And I ain't wearing any at the goddamn moment.

[(Anonymous)]

Oh, my.

[(Anonymous)]

You got no goddamn idea, I fucking tell you what.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm sure I don't.

[(Anonymous)]

You are fucking missing out.

[(Anonymous)]

Oh, I know. It's unfortunate.

[(Anonymous)]

Then where the fuck are you? I've been listening to that scary Rand girl bring Uhura coffee or some shit all day.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm in my goddamn office. Which you would fucking know if you'd read the shitting note I left on the damn coffee table.

[(Anonymous)]

We're leaving paper notes now? Jesus. Did you get the one I put next to your thermos? Right next to the homemade peanut butter bars.

[(Anonymous)]

Is this how you're telling me you want me to tan your hide for you? You get off on spanking, is that fucking it? Because I can make that happen.

[(Anonymous)]

Thought you liked me all saucy and fresh.

Wouldn't say no, but I'd hope I could be a little more fucking direct than bitching about notes anonymously on some secrets meme.

[(Anonymous)]

I ain't complaining, I'm just saying. You get fresh with me, I got a treatment for that and you said you'd mind your doctor.

You been direct enough about everything else down to fucking me so I reckon you could be on that subject, too.

Goddamn it, now I damn well want a shitting peanut butter bar.

[(Anonymous)]

I believe I was pretty clear when I said "as my doctor." You want to expand on that role, we'll talk.

Direct often gets results. No doubt I'll get more direct, which no doubt you can handle.

Fuck, me too. I'm just hungry all the time now.

[(Anonymous)]

I hope you're not sans pants on the job. Unless your occupation requires pantslessness.

[(Anonymous)]

You required to wear pants at your job? Then you're working the wrong fucking job.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm not required to wear them. It's just a bit less shocking to new clientele when I do.