Secrets Monday

[sharpestscalpel]

Fucking Monday goddamn shit-stained morning. Asshole.

That's damn well figurative language - mornings not having literal assholes.

I figure I seen it going around enough to post it my own fucking self today: Secrets Monday. When a bunch of motherfuckers too scared to put their names to things share their deepest and goddamn darkest.

Y'all know the rules. Comment anonymously and have the fuck at it. I'm feeling like a nosy bastard this morning, I tell you goddamn what.

In fact, y'all feel like putting a twist on it, give me your old secrets, your mean secrets, your shameful ones. Or, not. I don't fucking care.

Comments

[canadianbill.livejournal.com]

Not a secret, but now I'm trying to imagine what a morning's asshole might look like.

You always pose these philosophical conundrums, Doctor.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

Part of my goddamn charm.

[canadianbill.livejournal.com]

A small part only.

[loyalty-ever.livejournal.com]

I've wondered for a while now: is it because Monday is the start of the workweek, that we do secrets on this day instead of, say, Wednesday or Friday?

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

I reckon we're looking for a way to ease back in, to keep some of the fucking conversation going, to start off with a clear damn conscience. That clear that up for you, Tentpole?

[geekiwi.livejournal.com]

Once when I was four years old I stole a toffee bar from a convenience store. In my defense, they were right by the register and I thought they were free.

[geekiwi.livejournal.com]

Oh dear, that wasn't very anonymous, was it.

[canadianbill.livejournal.com]

You're doing it wrong, son.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

I ain't entirely sure I got an adequate response for you on this one. I just keep thinking of my own fucking childhood exploits.

[(Anonymous)]

I suddenly seem to want all kinds of unsuitable men.

[(Anonymous)]

At least it wasn't anything deep and dark. Like how I threw up on the first girl I got to second base with.

This is not Karl Urban speaking, just so you know.

[geekiwi.livejournal.com]

I wasn't a very bad kid, just became a douchebag when I got to high school.

What kind of exploits, pray tell?

[(Anonymous)]

I ain't generally one to say when someone's doing it the fuck wrong but, boy, you might still be doing it damn well wrong. Funny, though.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

My juvenile record is sealed for my own fucking protection as a damn adult. But, lemme think for a goddamn second - when I was four years old, I pitched a bucket full of rocks and sand onto a kid's head from the top of a slide because he done pissed me off. Little asshole was unconscious for three minutes. Best three minutes of my damn young life.

[(Anonymous)]

What makes them unsuitable? What makes them attractive?

[(Anonymous)]

They're attractive because they're hot and they're unsuitable because they're sociopaths.

[(Anonymous)]

I lost my virginity to a prostitute - is that dark?

[(Anonymous)]

Maybe they're just misunderstood?

[(Anonymous)]

Not necessarily, no.

[(Anonymous)]

This is what I keep telling myself, but I'm not convinced.

[(Anonymous)]

Hmm. Yeah, it didn't really feel very dark at the time.

[(Anonymous)]

Just out of curiosity, no judgement attached - did you pay for it?

[(Anonymous)]

What would convince you? And why do you say sociopath like it's a bad thing?

[(Anonymous)]

Uh, yes.

[(Anonymous)]

Huh. I lost my virginity *as* a prostitute.