Somehow I'd have expected my fucking medical degree to make dick jokes less funny.

[sharpestscalpel]

That little shit Kirk is still locked up in the iso room. I keep thinking about how he might damn well deserve a little treat. A little candle fucking salad ought to set him, well, not fucking straight, I tell you goddamn what.



Who ever said I don't do nice goddamn things for my shitting patients?

Comments

[nawigator]

It’s wery, uh, phallic?

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

Now, Peachy-pop, it's a damn regional food. You can't go making dick jokes about people's customs.

Well, you can. I'd laugh.

[nawigator]

Surely there are better comfort foods then ones thsat look like penii?

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

Dick is a powerful comfort, darling, didn't you know?

[nawigator]

No. I didn't. Oh vell, you learn something new ewery day.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

You just keep your young man Riley away from your snatch.

[nawigator]

Good God McCoy. You astound me. Not in a good vay.

Kevin is a friend, nothing more, nothing less.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

Men aren't friends with attractive women for nothing, sweetheart.

[nawigator]

Kevin is a friend. Our relationship is strictly platonic.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

You just keep reminding him of that.

[nawigator]

I am sure that Kevin has no such intentions tovards me. Or anyone on this ship for that matter. Despite my best efforts

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

Your friend Sulu not interested?

[nawigator]

Hikaru also does not think of me that vay.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

Well now. That's a damn shame.

How do you know? Did you ask?

[nawigator]

Uh...no. But I am pretty sure.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

Now, Peachy-pop, I ain't your daddy. But it seems to me like you can't know the inside of another man's head unless you ask about it.

[nawigator]

Thank God for that because my Papa has been dead for 12 years.

True, but for the sake of my pride, I am not likely to ask any time soon.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that might be goddamn creepy, now that I think about it.

You going to let your pride get in the way of your pussy?

Wait, didn't you have those two little girlfriends? What happened with that?

[nawigator]

I am Russian. Ve are naturally prideful people.

Meira and Nova, vell...things vere difficult betveen us and they came to a decision that ve couldn't be in a relationship anymore.

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

Now, now. I don't think this is strictly true. We might think about it, sure. But some men, anyway, are perfectly capable of being friends with attractive women without ulterior motive.

[nawigator]

Exactly. Men and Vomen are perfectly capable of being friends vithout there being and sexual tension betveen them.

[rn-chapel.livejournal.com]

Regional from where?

I'm so astonished I can offer no further commentary.

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

I... what? "It's better than a real -----, because you can eat it"? I don't even know what to say to that.

Your universe is fucked up, my friend. I hope you're taking good care of other-me.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

Fucking tasty, right?

Other-you is de-damn-lightful.

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

Oh, I'd eat it. But I can't imagine it lives up to the real thing.

See, when you say that, it worries me.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

Oh, I didn't say it lived up to the real thing. Real thing's bigger and if it had a shiny red bit like that, I'd be real fucking concerned.

Now, if I can't offer you goddamn reassurance, what do you want me to say? I ain't harmed him. Even gave him a little fucking show.

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

Yes. That would be a problem. I'm just saying... why? Who thought this was a good idea?

I'll take your word for it, Scruffy. I have to.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

Dunno who thought it up originally. But I like it.

And, yeah, you ain't got a whole lot of fucking choice in that one, do you?

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

There should be ice cream. At the base. All I'm saying.

No, I don't. Doesn't sound like he has, either.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

You want I should turn him out to the likes of Sulu and Johansen and them other motherfuckers? Their mercy ain't real tender, Golden Boy.

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

No, actually. I'm sure he's better off where he is.

[canadianbill.livejournal.com]

...

Well, I certainly want to lick the cream off it.

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

...

You know, I just realized I can't make inappropriate phallic come-ons right now.

[canadianbill.livejournal.com]

Jim, I will happily lick (the) cream off you at any time and in whatever form.

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

Believe me, there is a certain comfort (and definitely allure) in that.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

Billcakes, it is good to see you. I figured you might find this to your damn liking.

[canadianbill.livejournal.com]

Oh, I do.

Seriously, I'll eat anything.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

Now see, that sounds like a challenge.

[canadianbill.livejournal.com]

I'm always up for a challenge, doctor.

[headnursechapel.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you're looking out for him, Doctor. It's important to keep those potassium levels up.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

Helps prevent muscle cramps.