The real party is in my pants but you are invited to the one in my fucking sickbay for starters

[sharpestscalpel]

Got a message from 'Fleet command today, looking for Pike and what the hell is he doing and blah blah Empire business blah.

Uhura handled it before Chekov could flub it. Those two are turning into a dangerous pair. I've had three castrations to, well, it ain't like you can re-attach that shit when it's been pulverized. Chekov does some dirty fucking work, man. Good kid.

Other than that, ain't nothing going down. I figured we'd be seeing hell and weird shit after that whole scene in the brig but Enterprise has been quiet lately and Kirk is hanging on just as tight as he can to keeping his breathing and his beating fucking heart inside his fucking body.

Time to bust out some music, I think. Make the nurses dance a bit. It ain't easy to shake your fucking ass to Tom Waits but that ain't exactly my fucking problem, now is it?

Comments

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

A thing in my pants.

[canadianbill.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry I can't help you with that.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

I think I actually fucking am as well.

[canadianbill.livejournal.com]

I learn really fast, I tell you. I give amazing head.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

You want to fucking expound on this goddamn topic, I am all ears. And in my office. Where the door locks and I rarely wear pants.

[canadianbill.livejournal.com]

Um. Sadly, I don't think even I can give amazing head on the internet.

I hope you're sitting down. I find you can take it deepest when you're kneeling between the relevant guy's legs and he's sort of slouched in a chair/on the edge of the bed, whatever.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

Expound means you describe it, Billcakes.

Excuse my slowness of response as I am... occupied. With the thing that was in my pants when I had the fuckers on.

[canadianbill.livejournal.com]

Yes, I do know what expound means, thank you. I was just thinking.

Good to hear you're having fun, there. Except now it's making me want to go and shove someone down into a chair so I can go down on them. Particularly if they hold the back of my head so I can't pull away; I love that.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

They probably make some fucking simulator that would do the goddamn trick. I mean, it is the shitting 23rd century.

I could manage that for you.

[canadianbill.livejournal.com]

What, a simulator that thinks for you, or that gives you head?

Mm, I bet you could, doctor.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

That gives you the fucking head someone far away was giving.

Jesus fucking Christ, Billcakes, you are a goddamn tease. I like it. Which might explain some of my shortness of fucking breath right now.

[canadianbill.livejournal.com]

That would be awesome. I'll have to see if I can get someone to invent it.

Well, I'm not always like this, you know. I just like you. ;)

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

Keep me posted on that.

You are pretty fucking likable your own self. Also possibly lickable. Which is inspring as all hell to ponder at the moment, if you take my meaning.

[len-not-spock.livejournal.com]

Please, Jeshivah, protect him for it may be beyond my means at this point.

[canadianbill.livejournal.com]

Honestly, Len. He's not even in this universe.

[len-not-spock.livejournal.com]

Thank God for that.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

I am beginning to think you don't like me, Chompers.

[len-not-spock.livejournal.com]

It's not a matter of like or dislike. It's a matter of fucking self-preservation.

[canadianbill.livejournal.com]

I think you're being a little judgemental, Leonard.

[len-not-spock.livejournal.com]

For fuck's sake, if you don't believe me, speak to Tina about some of the things she gleaned about him through beardy Spock.

Or just look at some of his earlier posts.

[len-not-spock.livejournal.com]

I don't have an ambivalent icon, alas. Imagine one in this space.

[canadianbill.livejournal.com]

Well, what would you want the icon to communicate, exactly?

[len-not-spock.livejournal.com]

That I'm feeling decidedly ambivalent about the idea of you getting it on with a psychopath.

[canadianbill.livejournal.com]

Oh, Len. He's not a psychopath. He's nice. I like him. He's funny. And I like his beard.

[len-not-spock.livejournal.com]

*facepalms*