I still want a fucking puppy

[sharpestscalpel]

Fuck me running sideways up a goddamn mountain, Scotty's new shit hits like a fucking freight train.

It's the 23rd goddamn century - why are we still using shitting freight trains as points of goddamn comparison for hangovers?

Goddamn.



I'm going to find myself a nice hypo of something that'll make everything pretty. You ain't supposed to treat your goddamn self but it's a fucking emergency.

Comments

[kirk-winona.livejournal.com]

[[OOC: The aw I just let out, woke up my mother. Fucking adorable.]]

What the hell would we use instead of freight trains? Starships? The comparison is still valid.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

((OOC - SO CUTE.))

Starships'd work. Maybe photon torpedos.

[kirk-winona.livejournal.com]

[[OOC: Exactly. And I'm now tempted to find puppy pictures.]]

How many people do you know who gotten hit by a starship? Granted, some have been hit by the photon torpedos, but the fact of the matter is that freight train works just as well.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

More than you might suspect, Tinker.

[kirk-winona.livejournal.com]

Did you really just call me Tinker? Is that supposed to be some lame ass attempt at a joke about what I do, boy?

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

It's what you do, Tinker. You got a problem with what you do?

But I ain't your boy. You may be a mama, but you ain't my mama.

I'd still fuck you though.

[kirk-winona.livejournal.com]

No, actually I happen to love it. Just having you say Tinker makes it seem horrible.

I reserve the right to call you boy when I'm old enough to be your mother. Besides, how do I know if you don't get off on it?

I'd like to see you try.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

Tinker, that's a goddamn shame - I was being fucking nice. I could have fucking called you Hot Muffin or goddamn something like that.

You really want to know what gets me off?

You keep talking like that, I might be prone to fucking demonstrating.

[kirk-winona.livejournal.com]

If you called me Hot Muffin, I'd find a way to get my ass over there and show you just how much I hate that name. I'm not a baked good.

Why not? I'm curious what gets your sick ass off.

Like I said, I'd like to see you try.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

See, that's why I went with Tinker. Tinker. I like it.

There's a whole fucking list - I'm a many-goddamned-layered-lover.

You might just get the fucking chance.

[kirk-winona.livejournal.com]

I bet I can tinker with you and see how you tick.

Oh, so you're the baked good out of the two of us. Name one of your many layers.

I'm going to laugh when it doesn't work.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

We can fucking compare your mechanicals to my squishy innards? Sounds like goddamn Christmas.

Tinker, I ain't the type to put out on the first extensive comment exchange.

[kirk-winona.livejournal.com]

You are fucking sick. Mechanicals are so much better, less squishy.

I'm not either, Hot Cake.

[dctr-mccoy.livejournal.com]

Morning dipshit!

I like that dog... but don't you think he'd be a little sad trapped up in that tin can? Just sayin'...

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

Just cause you hate space, douchebag, don't mean the rest of us are so fucking blind. Dogs live in fucking apartments in cities, they can live on a motherfucking starship.

Big dogs are lazy assholes anyway. I wouldn't get some little high-strung goddamn terrier or something - those little fuckers need room to run. And dig.

Pugs're nice though. Lazy smushed-face little bastards.

[dctr-mccoy.livejournal.com]

Funny we agree on that - I like a sizable dog, something you can look at and not be embarrassed, not one of those little rat things.

Still, a dog who doesn't get to see sunshine, wag their tail playing fetch? Nah, that's criminal. Get a fuckin' cat if you want some company who doesn't give a shit 'bout their surroundings.

Pugs are ugly as shit, though. And they smell.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

Now, see, that right there's your fucking problem: you've got a mean little soul to not love a pug. Pugs're, like, the fucking definition of unconditional love.

And they look real damn cute in outfits.

[dctr-mccoy.livejournal.com]

Then I'm a mean fuckin' soul cause IMO there is nothing more useless than a pug. Isn't a dog, it's more like an insect, all bug- eyed. And have you heard them? Raspy, can't breathe right. And did I mention the smell?

Sad part is someone had to specially engineer fugly like that.

[rn-chapel.livejournal.com]

It's that they can get yeast infections on their faces that puts me off pugs. That's just not right.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

Blondie, you disappoint me.

Proper fucking hygiene'll take care of preventing that.

I mean, goddamn, woman, tell me this ain't cute:

[rn-chapel.livejournal.com]

Oh my god, that poor animal.

[loyalty-ever.livejournal.com]

The only thing better than a small fluffy canine is TWO OF THEM. (http://www.edopter.com/images_user/ideas/200805/uU5ACg)

[kirk-winona.livejournal.com]

[[OOC: JKDFSFDKJASHASFD WARN A PERSON, AYEL. SO CUTE.]]

[loyalty-ever.livejournal.com]

(OOC: But but warnings spoil THE SURPRISE ♥)

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

I like you fucking Romulan pointy-eared assholes better and better. That's goddamn adorable.

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

It sort of looks like an alien. In a cute way, I mean.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

Word, fucking word.

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

What sort of puppy do you want? I mean, are you set on the pug thing?

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

I'm not particularly fucking bothered by breed. Mutts're smarter'n most dogs that have been goddamn bred for centuries for characteristics other than smartness, after fucking all.

Pugs are just cute little fuckers.

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

Just wondering.

I like them bigger, personally. I don't care about the breed, but... big is good.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

Big dogs are fucking awesome. They're just goddamn more difficult to dress the hell up.

I'm a fucking fan of mastiffs.

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

Okay, this dressing up business? That is a travesty. A dog is a noble, beautiful animal. What the hell do they need clothes for?

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

Pugs ain't noble - they were MADE for fucking dressing up.

Rotties don't tolerate it nearly so goddamn well.

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

You have a point, but I stand by my conviction that a dog you don't need to dress up is preferable.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

I don't goddamn need to dress 'em up. But I fucking like it.

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

...

Do you think they make little Starfleet uniforms for dogs?

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

You can find someone to make you just about any-fucking-thing on this subspace network. Just saying.

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

I guess you're right. (http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_xOFor8ew4mo/R4_9H4xfn7I/AAAAAAAAA4o/v7zU6ZLThrU/s400/IMG_0992.JPG)

[anna-kowalski.livejournal.com]

That is cute, and so are these pictures that I found.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

Who doesn't fucking love puppies, am I right?

[john-grimm.livejournal.com]

Uh, yeah. Gotta say, puppies make me rather uncomfortable.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

...

What is fucking WRONG with you?

[john-grimm.livejournal.com]

Dunno, man. I just... I feel like I'm gonna squish 'em, you know? They make me nervous.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

That is a valid damn concern if you don't watch your fucking big feet.

[john-grimm.livejournal.com]

Not all of us can be dainty ladies, asshat.

[anna-kowalski.livejournal.com]

You're right. Well, except for john_grimm, apparently.

[len-not-spock.livejournal.com]

That is one adorable puppy.

And man, do I ever not miss the hangovers.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

Yep.

I admit, they ain't my favorite fucking part of the process.

[ephram-green.livejournal.com]

I'm more partial to cats, but it would take a stronger person than me to resist a puppy. And if you're going to get a dog, pugs are one of the smarter breeds.