Goddamnfuckshittingcuntface

[sharpestscalpel]

Chekov can't hold the con by himself. Uhura is helping, just to keep some semblance of peace, while Sulu is still recovering. Usually, an attempt like that would have ended with him dead or in the brig instead of in my sickbay, but with Pike and that goddamn pointy-eared bastard gone, the chain of command has gone to hell.

Word has reached the rest of the crew that we're dead in the water. Well, dead in the vacuum at least. Which is not an image of comfort. Nor should it be; space is disease and danger wrapped up in darkness and silence - what the fuck did these little dipshits expect?

And did they expect the Empire to gift wrap them like fine fucking crystal before sending them out into the void? Everyone's all squeamish just because Sulu has weeping patches of skin infection. I told him to take care of those grafts but no. He figured it'd be just goddamn peachy to fuck some tail and completely ignore that the fluid barrier is just good sense. You don't go rubbing someone else's wet stuff in your own damaged tissue.

I mean, for fuck's sake, I thought it was a well-known rule:

If it's wet and sticky and not your own, don't touch it.

Or at least don't be surprised when you pick up some nice little foreign bacteria and they start eating your flesh.

Which reminds me, I need a booster vaccine against blood-born pathogens and the rest of the crew need their shots. Now's as good a time as any.

Comments

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

[[OOC - Oh god... I'm laughing so shamelessly right now.]]

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

You should always laugh shamelessly. That's what goddamn humor is for.

[anna-kowalski.livejournal.com]

(OOC - If it's wet and sticky and not your own, don't touch it. That could be a new sign for the Sickbay wall. Just saying...)

[rn-chapel.livejournal.com]

[[OOC: I approve!]]

[mirror-brightly.livejournal.com]

Fucking humans, good riddance.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

I hate to be a traitor to my goddamn species but you might be on to something there, Ears.

[just-uhura.livejournal.com]

I believe what we have here is a case of too much information.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

Information'll that'll save your shitting life, missy. Just because you want to be all uppity and prudish doesn't mean the rest of us can't stand to hear a little safety tip.

[len-not-spock.livejournal.com]

I agree with this entirely.

[headnursechapel.livejournal.com]

D:

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

What's the matter, Babylights? The big bad grownups got you a little nervous?

[science-blues.livejournal.com]

It appears that this electronic communications network has the ability to transmit data from alternate planes of reality.

Fascinating.

Might I presume that you are the Doctor McCoy of an alternate plane of existence?

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

You can presume whatever you want with cheekbones like that, darling.

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

...You are fucking messed up. Your advice has a point, but you're still fucking messed up. I suddenly think Pike and Spock are normal next to your level of what the fuck.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

You've got a dick-sucking mouth on you, don't you, boy?

[dctr-mccoy.livejournal.com]

Unbelievable...

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

Hey, you look like me if I were a fucking douchebag...

That is goddamn amazing.

[emma-mccoy.livejournal.com]

O_O

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

You lost or you just show up to make faces against the window?

[ephram-green.livejournal.com]

You. Are a criminal.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

What's your point?

[lt-moreau.livejournal.com]

The way your mind works intrigues me. You seem rather like a man I know--not well, thankfully. I think the two of you might get along very well. I hope you never meet.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

Tell me, what would he do if you showed up and babbled at him?

[nawigator]

. . . .

ew

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

Aw, aren't you just as precious as a pound of peaches.

[its-oriley.livejournal.com]

Wow...

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

I hear that more often than you might think.

[xaque-heals.livejournal.com]

I'm pretty sure this was daisies before my daughter was born.

And we come into this world covered in things wet and sticky and not our own, every one of us.