Goddamnfuckshittingcuntface

[sharpestscalpel]

Chekov can't hold the con by himself. Uhura is helping, just to keep some semblance of peace, while Sulu is still recovering. Usually, an attempt like that would have ended with him dead or in the brig instead of in my sickbay, but with Pike and that goddamn pointy-eared bastard gone, the chain of command has gone to hell.

Word has reached the rest of the crew that we're dead in the water. Well, dead in the vacuum at least. Which is not an image of comfort. Nor should it be; space is disease and danger wrapped up in darkness and silence - what the fuck did these little dipshits expect?

And did they expect the Empire to gift wrap them like fine fucking crystal before sending them out into the void? Everyone's all squeamish just because Sulu has weeping patches of skin infection. I told him to take care of those grafts but no. He figured it'd be just goddamn peachy to fuck some tail and completely ignore that the fluid barrier is just good sense. You don't go rubbing someone else's wet stuff in your own damaged tissue.

I mean, for fuck's sake, I thought it was a well-known rule:

If it's wet and sticky and not your own, don't touch it.

Or at least don't be surprised when you pick up some nice little foreign bacteria and they start eating your flesh.

Which reminds me, I need a booster vaccine against blood-born pathogens and the rest of the crew need their shots. Now's as good a time as any.

Comments

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

[[OOC - Oh god... I'm laughing so shamelessly right now.]]

[anna-kowalski.livejournal.com]

(OOC - If it's wet and sticky and not your own, don't touch it. That could be a new sign for the Sickbay wall. Just saying...)

[rn-chapel.livejournal.com]

[[OOC: I approve!]]

[anna-kowalski.livejournal.com]

(OOC - ♥ The sign should have nasty example pictures, too...)

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

Everything is better with pictures.

((That's both IC and OOC.))

[rn-chapel.livejournal.com]

[[OOC: I was just talking yesterday about the STD slide-show I saw in high school health class that nearly scared me celibate. Nearly.]]

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

You should always laugh shamelessly. That's what goddamn humor is for.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

It'd be a fucking shame if you were celibate, blondie. A fucking shame.

[mirror-brightly.livejournal.com]

Fucking humans, good riddance.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

I hate to be a traitor to my goddamn species but you might be on to something there, Ears.

[just-uhura.livejournal.com]

I believe what we have here is a case of too much information.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

Information'll that'll save your shitting life, missy. Just because you want to be all uppity and prudish doesn't mean the rest of us can't stand to hear a little safety tip.

[just-uhura.livejournal.com]

I didn't realize that not wanting to hear about bodily fluids getting into a fresh skin graft qualified me as being a prude. And if it's ever down to you to save my life, just go ahead and fucking kill me.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

Sweetskirt, if you were ever on my table, I'd have far more fun things to do than let you just die.

[len-not-spock.livejournal.com]

I agree with this entirely.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

You look like our fucking missing calculator. Goddamn, that's kind of eerie.

[len-not-spock.livejournal.com]

Well, at least the feeling is entirely mutual then.

[just-uhura.livejournal.com]

And I'll be having nightmares about that particular scenario, thank you.

[just-uhura.livejournal.com]

There is something seriously wrong with him.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

I look like someone you used to know? Or someone you want to fuck? Because I know which it is on my end.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

You need a little therapy for that, my door is always open. Unless it's locked. And then you'll have to fuck off until I'm available.

[mirror-brightly.livejournal.com]

Good to see one of you thinking.

I was concerned that hevam were non-sentient for a while there.

They babble nothing but the same few curse words and whenever given the chance, after all.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

You keep your fucking Romulan insults in your own goddamn mouth, Ears, and we might just get along.

I'm always thinking, you can just bet on that.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

Nothing a little screaming and bleeding couldn't fix. I'm just bored, Sweetskirt.

[just-uhura.livejournal.com]

Therapy is the last thing I'd want from you.