Hey, yo, Billcakes, you should read this:

[sharpestscalpel]

Listen, I fuck things up with your boy Chompers? I ain't fond of how he's making you feel fucking bad. But you say he's okay with it, I accept that.

Obviously, he's got some sort of problem with me but I ain't interested in wrecking your damn home. So you want me to lay off you some or all of the shitting way, you say the word.

Comments

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

I believe it might read as a bit fucking vain or self-interested for me to participate in that kind of goddamn speculation.

But you do go on.

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

I couldn't fault you for it. You're all so gorgeous.

[canadianbill.livejournal.com]

Aren't they just?

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

Not that you're wrong, but didn't you just get in trouble for this?

Seriously, I have stories to tell, in the proper venue, if you're not weirded out by the whole De thing.

[canadianbill.livejournal.com]

...well, I got in trouble for offering sexual favours. Len doesn't mind when I talk about how McCoys are sexy. He never complains about me flirting with De, for example. (Although you are still not allowed to.)

I would love to hear these stories. In whatever venue you choose.

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

Why am I not allowed to? If it's because it'll upset him, I can accept that. But it's not fair.

McCoys are sexy. I can't help that.

We'll have to do dinner--with food--and dish. Like girls, except about gay sex.

[canadianbill.livejournal.com]

Well, it's because he knows I don't mean it. At most, he'll get brutally made out with, and he gives as good as he gets in those situations. With you, I'm afraid he might not realise you weren't actually trying to get into his pants.

That would be awesome. Although maybe instead of dinner as such, we should get pizza and put on some classic rock. Just to make it a little more manly.

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

Hmm, good point. I'm not, but I'm told it's hard to tell?

And that's an excellent notion, Bill. I'm all for it.

[sehlatbear.livejournal.com]

We'll have to do dinner--with food

And with other things?

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

...

Possibly.

I find these distinctions difficult to make, from time to time.

[sehlatbear.livejournal.com]

Fascinating.

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

Spock, there's something you should know. Bill doesn't always mean the words he says. Sometimes he means "sex" instead.

[sehlatbear.livejournal.com]

Indeed?

How intriguing.

Would it not be more efficient to simply say "sex"?

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

Probably. But less adorable.

[canadianbill.livejournal.com]

...you know, I actually did not mean 'sex' anywhere here. If I wanted you to come over so we could have sex, I would say: hey, Jim, come over and let's fuck. Non?

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

To be fair to you, I was the one who decided my own words might be taken as euphemism. And I thought it was worth warning Spock that people who look like us often mean sex even when we don't mean to.

By "warn" I actually mean "let him know so he can take advantage."

French is hot.

[canadianbill.livejournal.com]

I approve of this. Being taken advantage of by Spock, I mean.

Did you not know that I'm effectively bilingual? Also conversant in Biblical Hebrew, though I don't know how hot that is.

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

As do I. You should try it. You have no idea.

I'd heard that, somewhere, about the Canadian thing. Still hot. I don't know about the Hebrew, but feel free to bust it out.