The real party is in my pants but you are invited to the one in my fucking sickbay for starters

[sharpestscalpel]

Got a message from 'Fleet command today, looking for Pike and what the hell is he doing and blah blah Empire business blah.

Uhura handled it before Chekov could flub it. Those two are turning into a dangerous pair. I've had three castrations to, well, it ain't like you can re-attach that shit when it's been pulverized. Chekov does some dirty fucking work, man. Good kid.

Other than that, ain't nothing going down. I figured we'd be seeing hell and weird shit after that whole scene in the brig but Enterprise has been quiet lately and Kirk is hanging on just as tight as he can to keeping his breathing and his beating fucking heart inside his fucking body.

Time to bust out some music, I think. Make the nurses dance a bit. It ain't easy to shake your fucking ass to Tom Waits but that ain't exactly my fucking problem, now is it?

Comments

[canadianbill.livejournal.com]

Fuck. you.

[mirroredspock.livejournal.com]

I concur with your Leonard's assessment. My female counterpart does have very soft lips.

[canadianbill.livejournal.com]

I think this is all just supporting my initial theory about lesbians.

[mirroredspock.livejournal.com]

What theory would this be, William Shatner?

[canadianbill.livejournal.com]

The one where they're only lesbians because they haven't met a hot enough man yet.

[mirroredspock.livejournal.com]

Fascinating yet narcissistic.

[len-not-spock.livejournal.com]

Amen.

[science-blues.livejournal.com]

I disagree with the latter. Though I mean no offense to Bill Shatner, this would imply that I have yet to meet a man of sufficient attractive qualities, despite already having made his acquaintance.

[mirroredspock.livejournal.com]

My statement did not reflect conclusions drawn about your orientation. Rather, it offered commentary on his own belief that men must be so necessary.

[science-blues.livejournal.com]

Strange that a strictly textual medium should be so simple to misunderstand. I did not presume opinion upon my personal orientation, I was merely responding to the concept of narcissism inherent in the statement.

Though, upon further rumination, if it is a common belief, the narcissism would persist beyond Bill Shatner.

[mirroredspock.livejournal.com]

It is a common belief, to my knowledge, that all women really require is, in the human phraseology, "a good deep dicking."

Though the sentiment has been repeated in the reverse in my hearing - there was a female crewmember who willfully refused understanding that I do not require female genital interfacing to experience sexual satisfaction.

[science-blues.livejournal.com]

Curious, and fallacious on both counts.

[mirroredspock.livejournal.com]

Indeed.

Humans have many particular sexual customs.

[canadianbill.livejournal.com]

Well, I didn't mean me.

[len-not-spock.livejournal.com]

There was mistletoe. It was little more than a screenkiss, really.

[canadianbill.livejournal.com]

...hrrm. Well. That's different. I suppose.

[len-not-spock.livejournal.com]

Since I'm decidedly not female by any stretch of the imagination, yes.

[len-not-spock.livejournal.com]

What?

[canadianbill.livejournal.com]

You are not allowed to kiss lesbians and then in the next breath insist that lesbians can't be convinced to get it on with men.