The real party is in my pants but you are invited to the one in my fucking sickbay for starters

[sharpestscalpel]

Got a message from 'Fleet command today, looking for Pike and what the hell is he doing and blah blah Empire business blah.

Uhura handled it before Chekov could flub it. Those two are turning into a dangerous pair. I've had three castrations to, well, it ain't like you can re-attach that shit when it's been pulverized. Chekov does some dirty fucking work, man. Good kid.

Other than that, ain't nothing going down. I figured we'd be seeing hell and weird shit after that whole scene in the brig but Enterprise has been quiet lately and Kirk is hanging on just as tight as he can to keeping his breathing and his beating fucking heart inside his fucking body.

Time to bust out some music, I think. Make the nurses dance a bit. It ain't easy to shake your fucking ass to Tom Waits but that ain't exactly my fucking problem, now is it?

Comments

[len-not-spock.livejournal.com]

Aren't you appreciative of the presence of humans in the universe, then?

[science-blues.livejournal.com]

I am appreciative of all life in the universe, though I do believe Romulans monopolize the pornography market in this era.

[len-not-spock.livejournal.com]

Seriously? From what I've seen around on LJ, they struck me as rather... uptight.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

They're dirty fuckers.

If they weren't such assface cocksuckers, I'd be plum fond.

[len-not-spock.livejournal.com]

I'll take your word for it.

[science-blues.livejournal.com]

I assure you, their productions are quite...extensive.

It is often the most proper of cultures that exhibits the most interesting sexual behaviors. I have not yet gathered enough anthropological data on this subject to compose a proper anthropological study.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

I got some data I can share in that regard.

[science-blues.livejournal.com]

I would appreciate any information you would be willing to share.

[len-not-spock.livejournal.com]

Yes, I don't know why I hadn't thought of that. It's one of the reasons I'm so fond of Earth's Victorian era.