The real party is in my pants but you are invited to the one in my fucking sickbay for starters

[sharpestscalpel]

Got a message from 'Fleet command today, looking for Pike and what the hell is he doing and blah blah Empire business blah.

Uhura handled it before Chekov could flub it. Those two are turning into a dangerous pair. I've had three castrations to, well, it ain't like you can re-attach that shit when it's been pulverized. Chekov does some dirty fucking work, man. Good kid.

Other than that, ain't nothing going down. I figured we'd be seeing hell and weird shit after that whole scene in the brig but Enterprise has been quiet lately and Kirk is hanging on just as tight as he can to keeping his breathing and his beating fucking heart inside his fucking body.

Time to bust out some music, I think. Make the nurses dance a bit. It ain't easy to shake your fucking ass to Tom Waits but that ain't exactly my fucking problem, now is it?

Comments

[canadianbill.livejournal.com]

Yeah....they really are. I do kind of wonder sometimes, how come 1960s fashion is still prevailing in the 23rd century. But then some girl walks past in a minidress and, you know how it is.

Not that I have a thing for nurses as you apparently do.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

Fashion seems, from my under-educated-on-the-subject perspective, to cycle back around. It's probably been the damn 1960s several damn dozen times since you actually lived in the fuckers.

[canadianbill.livejournal.com]

You're right.

I hope to God I never have to live through another leggings phase, though. Lycra is a privilege, not a right.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

They're fucking comfortable, though, Billcakes. Never tried them?

[canadianbill.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I wouldn't actually have said 'comfortable'. More 'embarrassing'.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

BRB DYING OF LOL

[canadianbill.livejournal.com]

AND THIS IS WHY I HATE LEGGINGS.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

Okay, now, see...

That's not what I'm talking about, Billcakes.

I don't even fucking know what that was all about there but....

Listen, I don't seem to have a goddamn adequate response so let's just pretend I didn't fucking download that just in case it ever comes in fucking useful. I mean, I have damn bad days some days and we all need things that make us laugh, right?

[canadianbill.livejournal.com]

That is a pair of leggings, right there. Ask Jim. Apparently those are fucking Starfleet regulation. I have no idea what people were thinking.

And yeah, yeah, whatever. I know. They would probably be hilarious if they didn't still make me cringe. And they chafed, too.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

Your fucking Starfleet is doing leggings WRONG.

[canadianbill.livejournal.com]

Not my fucking Starfleet, bucko. I am not a member of any fleets.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

So fucking weird.

Golden Boy's Starfleet, then - they are fucking doing goddamn leggings wrong.

[canadianbill.livejournal.com]

Well, how do you do leggings?

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

Little more like this:

[canadianbill.livejournal.com]

...I could be convinced by those leggings. The boots, too.

I hope you realise you're giving me, like, a facial hair kink. I really have no way around this one.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

The boots are fucking key, Billcakes. You got to end skinny legs in something SOLID.

Shaving is a pain in the ass. I bet you'd look smoking with a beard.

[canadianbill.livejournal.com]

Damn right. Big boots are hot.

I look fucking awful with a beard. Trust me. Leonard looks good with one, though. And you know yours is good. Like, there are too many McCoys on the dance floor, as it were, so we have McCoy, Jim's McCoy, and Sexy Beard McCoy.

In my nomenclature system, anyway.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

"Nice boots," ain't a tried and true pick-up line for nothing.

I got to fucking admit, that's a goddamn attractive icon you got yourself there, Billcakes. Sexy-Beard McCoy, eh? I can fucking live with that.

[canadianbill.livejournal.com]

I have obviously failed at being a playboy by never having used that one.

Note the nice vagueness of the name. Doesn't specify whether it's you or the beard that's sexy.

It's both, by the way.

And thank you. :)

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

You ought to try it one day.

Maybe I will give you the fucking opportunity.

[canadianbill.livejournal.com]

Maybe I will, if I see someone in appropriately hot boots.

Well, y'know, I would. Shame about you being all the way over there in a different universe.