99 bottles of fucking beer on the goddamn wall - and by wall I mean my fucking stomach. Liver. Wev.

[sharpestscalpel]

You know what we fucking need?

We need some goddamn puppies.

Fucking puppies are awesome.

Not, like, fucking puppies with fucking as the verb - that's just goddamn sick, y'all. Why would anyone wanna fuck a puppy? Puppyfucker.

No, goddamn it, I mean puppies are fucking awesome. With their shitting little waggy fucking tails and their holy-fuck-that's-goddamn-cold wet noses that they always stick up under your fucking hand because they want you to pet them.

That's the shit, I tell you goddamn what.

I want a puppy. Fucking Pike ain't here to not let me have a puppy - next time we find some fucking puppies, I'm keeping me a damn puppy.

Comments

[iron-command.livejournal.com]

You know, somehow, I am not surprised. Tell me, are you sure that what he made can't be poured into the engines with less painful side effects then it can into a human body?

Is Kirk still alive?

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

You wanna be the goddamn man that suggests to that crazy fucking bastard that his precious engines get anything other than the finest fucking dilithium, I will fucking patch you up after, Pike, but I will say I goddamn told you so.

Last time I fucking checked on his sorry ass he was still gasping like a motherfucking fish on land. I'll head back over there in the morning and check on his sorry cocksucker ass.

[iron-command.livejournal.com]

You know he's constantly trying to think of things to improve on it. Wouldn't be surprised if the drunkard figured out something that involved alcohol.

Wouldn't surprise me in the least if you've already tapped that sorry cocksucker ass. Seeing him like that probably is a huge turn on for you.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

I might've taped me some fucking footage but I ain't touched one goddamn hair on his lily-mouthed blond head.

At least, I ain't done it yet.