Curiosity killed the fucking cat. Doing some goddamn memes brought it back.

[sharpestscalpel]

Or something to that fucking effect.

Little Peaches gave me some questions because some other fuckers were too pussy to do it.

1. Vhat are the most important lessons you've learned in life?

I believe I goddamn already posted this the other fucking day. Worth repeating though. If it's wet and sticky and not your own, don't touch it. There are some sub-lessons about proper glove handling procedures and inoculation on a regular basis for various blood-born pathogens and flesh-eating shit, but you want the short version, that's it.

2. Vhere is the furthest avay from home you hawe ewer been?

I get a little bit further from home every minute, Peaches.

3. Is there anything you hawe done vhich you regret?

There was this little rat-faced shit terrier that our neighbor had when I was growing up. I still regret not breaking that dog's fucking neck. I still have a scar from where that cunt-rag mutt bit me.

4. Vhat is the funniest joke you ewer heard?

I think it's a tie between:

Two baby seals walk into a club.

and

How do you make a dead baby float?

Two scoops of ice cream, milk, dead baby, blender.

5. Vhat has been the proudest moment of your life?

I'm a modest soul. You might could get me drunk enough to talk about it one day though. Feed some Romulan ale and then ask me about the time I almost got myself into some deep shit on the Romulan home world, okay?

Y'all want some goddamn questions, fucking say so, pussies.

Comments

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

You trying to come around and insult me obviously isn't working because my mama is not quite the sensitive topic that your's must be if you're hitting that - pun intended - this early in the game.

So what are you here for? Some fucking questions?

1. Who the fuck are you?
2. Why should I goddamn care?
3. Why do you have pubic hair on your cock-sucking face? Wait, I may have just answered that one myself.
4. You as worthless as you look?
5. You at least show my mama a good time? She's a classy lady, after all.

[dreadpiratekirk.livejournal.com]

Insulting? I was just being honest with you.

1. Sam Kirk.
2. Find your own fucking reason.
3. You must be doing your fair share of cock sucking too. Unless you were too busy shaving your dick and forgot to get around to your face.
4. Probably.
5. For a while, then she got boring.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

Uh-huh.

1. Figures you'd be a Kirk. Y'all are like goddamn cockroaches.
2. I don't think you want me to find a reason for you to be interesting.
3. Actually, I wax. It's far more efficient and I like how soft it leaves my skin.
4. I figured.
5. Actually, she was way more interesting dead than alive.

[dreadpiratekirk.livejournal.com]

1. It'll just be us Kirks, the cockroaches, and Romulans.
2. Just remember that 'no' means 'no'.
3. I didn't think that was so important for bottoms.
4. It's common knowledge.
5. Kinky.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

2. Really? Y'all believe that bullshit there?
3. I'm starting to think you've got some sort of homophobic thing going on there. Too much internalized misogyny making you feel insecure? Let me tell you, the whole gender binary bullshit is so 22nd century.
5. Not particularly.

[dreadpiratekirk.livejournal.com]

2. We do. People who don't are called 'rapists'.
3. The self-hate thing might explain a lot about me.
5. Necrophilia is still frowned upon here.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

2. You say rapist like it's a bad thing.

[dreadpiratekirk.livejournal.com]

2. As I said: 'no' means 'no' here.