Curiosity killed the fucking cat. Doing some goddamn memes brought it back.

[sharpestscalpel]

Or something to that fucking effect.

Little Peaches gave me some questions because some other fuckers were too pussy to do it.

1. Vhat are the most important lessons you've learned in life?

I believe I goddamn already posted this the other fucking day. Worth repeating though. If it's wet and sticky and not your own, don't touch it. There are some sub-lessons about proper glove handling procedures and inoculation on a regular basis for various blood-born pathogens and flesh-eating shit, but you want the short version, that's it.

2. Vhere is the furthest avay from home you hawe ewer been?

I get a little bit further from home every minute, Peaches.

3. Is there anything you hawe done vhich you regret?

There was this little rat-faced shit terrier that our neighbor had when I was growing up. I still regret not breaking that dog's fucking neck. I still have a scar from where that cunt-rag mutt bit me.

4. Vhat is the funniest joke you ewer heard?

I think it's a tie between:

Two baby seals walk into a club.

and

How do you make a dead baby float?

Two scoops of ice cream, milk, dead baby, blender.

5. Vhat has been the proudest moment of your life?

I'm a modest soul. You might could get me drunk enough to talk about it one day though. Feed some Romulan ale and then ask me about the time I almost got myself into some deep shit on the Romulan home world, okay?

Y'all want some goddamn questions, fucking say so, pussies.

Comments

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

Old med school joke, ma'am. You know how doctors can be.

1. What's the best thing about coming back from the dead?

2. What got you interested in bones?

3. Do you wear underwear?

4. Your boy, Lenny, he ever have a kid?

5. How'd your David die?

[emma-mccoy.livejournal.com]

Never heard anything that...graphic and I've worked with rotting corpses.

1. Ability to spend time with my family.
2. I was working with a group that was helping war crime victims. I saw the children, mothers, and fathers that couldn't provide for their families due to lack of limbs and other extremities and wanted to make the world a better place by providing prosthetics to those people.
3. ...what sort of question is that? Of course I do!
4. Yes, I believe so. A little girl.
5. I...don't know exactly. I wasn't there.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

Aw, rotting corpses always bring out an entirely different sort of joke, I've found.

1. You continue to be just goddamn precious.
2. See above.
3. I don't. Why bind yourself up that way?
4. Fascinating, to quote a particular pointy-eared bastard.
5. Figured you might have asked. I'm just curious about the amount of overlap, you see.

[emma-mccoy.livejournal.com]

Forensics people deal with death all the time so I've had more than my share of those kinds of jokes. This was why I stuck to the lab for research most of the time.

1. I told you, my family always comes first as far as I'm concerned.
3. It's also sanitary.
5. Well like I said, I wasn't there when David had passed on. I was already passed on at the point in time.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

Well, I can't help where my talents lie.

1. I know you did. Doesn't make it not precious.
3. You require your pants to be a completely germ-free environment? I find a little dirt is healthy. Metaphorically speaking.
5. Damn shame. Condolences.

[emma-mccoy.livejournal.com]

Probably a bar of soap and a marathon of Disney movies would do you good.

3. Not completely germ free but still! Underwear details are classified as well.
5. Yeah...I'm working on accepting it.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

I'm not anti-Disney movie. Love me some fucking 101 Dalmations.

3. You've got a cruel streak, ma'am. I like it.

[emma-mccoy.livejournal.com]

Watching 101 Dalmations and you still are like this?

3. I do NOT have a cruel streak.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

I like puppies. What? I'm no fucking monster.

3. So you say.

[emma-mccoy.livejournal.com]

Well gee, I couldn't tell from the quality of your jokes.

3. I speak the truth.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

Dr. Emma McCoy, you are going to hurt my feelings.

[emma-mccoy.livejournal.com]

Dr. Leonard McCoy, it as an indirect joke, I didn't mean to offend.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

This is why you're going to have to have dinner with me at some point. Text cannot alone convey that I was teasing you.

[emma-mccoy.livejournal.com]

Considering that your poor childhood was plagued by an Oedipus-like situation, I don't think having dinner together would be a good thing.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

You're going to let a little thing like that bother you?

[emma-mccoy.livejournal.com]

That would mean I would be bringing up horrible memories for you and I'd never want to do that.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

Your consideration is goddamn exemplary. But I've put those memories to rest, ma'am. Along with my mama.

[emma-mccoy.livejournal.com]

From how you've been speaking with me, I don't know...you might be confusing me with her.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

No, ma'am. I don't think you'd care for how she and I communicated towards the end.

[emma-mccoy.livejournal.com]

I'm just concerned about your well being. I would not want to open up that can of worms. Call it being sentimental for looking like Lenny.