Curiosity killed the fucking cat. Doing some goddamn memes brought it back.

[sharpestscalpel]

Or something to that fucking effect.

Little Peaches gave me some questions because some other fuckers were too pussy to do it.

1. Vhat are the most important lessons you've learned in life?

I believe I goddamn already posted this the other fucking day. Worth repeating though. If it's wet and sticky and not your own, don't touch it. There are some sub-lessons about proper glove handling procedures and inoculation on a regular basis for various blood-born pathogens and flesh-eating shit, but you want the short version, that's it.

2. Vhere is the furthest avay from home you hawe ewer been?

I get a little bit further from home every minute, Peaches.

3. Is there anything you hawe done vhich you regret?

There was this little rat-faced shit terrier that our neighbor had when I was growing up. I still regret not breaking that dog's fucking neck. I still have a scar from where that cunt-rag mutt bit me.

4. Vhat is the funniest joke you ewer heard?

I think it's a tie between:

Two baby seals walk into a club.

and

How do you make a dead baby float?

Two scoops of ice cream, milk, dead baby, blender.

5. Vhat has been the proudest moment of your life?

I'm a modest soul. You might could get me drunk enough to talk about it one day though. Feed some Romulan ale and then ask me about the time I almost got myself into some deep shit on the Romulan home world, okay?

Y'all want some goddamn questions, fucking say so, pussies.

Comments

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

3. I didn't start out judging you. I started out from your hypothetical "motherfucker." Which I didn't take for an affectionate or self-referential moniker straight off.

He lectures me about salad, mostly. And exercise. I swear, between him and Spock, neither wants me to have any fun that's not horizontal. Not that I mind that part.

5. I could not agree with you more. Not that it's any of your business, but I've made it quite clear that I'd be equally happy with another, more traditional arrangement. But if there's truly no objection, I don't see why I should restrict myself, given the opportunity and desire.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

3. Maybe we just got off the wrong fucking foot with you scolding me over on your porno meme.

Any rate, two goddamn words for you: finger foods. The fucking that results will count as exercise and even you can manage some vegetables if they're fucking foreplay, am I right?

5. That's real fucking progressive of you. Communication is goddamn key and all that.

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

3. That's my job. It's nothing personal. I stand by the scolding, but it doesn't mean we can be civil.

It's not that I don't like vegetables. It's that they do not constitute a meal in and of themselves. Meals have things like steak and potatoes and cake. But you have a point.

5. I'm very lucky. Sounds like you've had some negative experiences. I'm sorry to hear that.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

3. Civility is the last fucking refuge of the damned, or so my mama always fucking said.

I'm not going to argue with you - fucking steak is awesome. But you might try working a little goddamn broccoli into your diet, keep you spry and energetic. I'm saying finger foods so it don't feel like work.

5. Eh, don't you goddamn spare a worry for me, Golden Boy. Not my way to let the fuckheads get me down.

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

3. What is that even supposed to mean? Manners don't mean much in and of themselves, but being able to converse without insult facilitates a lot that does.

Look, I never said I don't like broccoli or don't eat it. I merely object to seeing a plate of vegetables as a meal. Whole and entire. Vegetables are a side dish, an appetizer. Why does everyone think I'm going to get fat?

5. I can see that. You seem rather lonely, though.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

3. Means we're all just fucking fiddling while Rome is burning. Bread and circuses, etc., etc., fucking etc..

Men reach a certain age, lot of them thicken up around the middle. Matter of fucking biology. My medical opinion don't care if you get fat, but you better eat goddamn healthfully.

5. I've had more company to my name, that is fucking true.

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

3. That's quite the perspective you have. I'm glad I don't share it.

Your concern, like everyone else's, is duly noted.

5. Don't you like anyone on that ship?

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

5. Ship full of rank-climbers. Nothing but the fucking best and brightest for fucking Pike, Golden Boy. I don't entirely dislike them - but they ain't my fucking friends. Can't be - too many of them trying for my job or looking to be owed a favor by someone who wants my job.

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

Then, aside from being the best and the brightest, why are you there? Or is that reason enough?

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

I've got my flaws, I'll fucking admit that. But I'm the best goddamn doctor in the shitting 'Fleet and Pike knows it. And I owe him a favor now. He likes that.

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

Look, whatever else, you're CMO McCoy, and that puts me in no doubt of your skills. I just meant your personal reasons for being there.