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sharpestscalpelOr something to that fucking effect.
Little Peaches gave me some questions because some other fuckers were too pussy to do it.
1. Vhat are the most important lessons you've learned in life?
I believe I goddamn already posted this the other fucking day. Worth repeating though. If it's wet and sticky and not your own, don't touch it. There are some sub-lessons about proper glove handling procedures and inoculation on a regular basis for various blood-born pathogens and flesh-eating shit, but you want the short version, that's it.
2. Vhere is the furthest avay from home you hawe ewer been?
I get a little bit further from home every minute, Peaches.
3. Is there anything you hawe done vhich you regret?
There was this little rat-faced shit terrier that our neighbor had when I was growing up. I still regret not breaking that dog's fucking neck. I still have a scar from where that cunt-rag mutt bit me.
4. Vhat is the funniest joke you ewer heard?
I think it's a tie between:
Two baby seals walk into a club.
and
How do you make a dead baby float?
Two scoops of ice cream, milk, dead baby, blender.
5. Vhat has been the proudest moment of your life?
I'm a modest soul. You might could get me drunk enough to talk about it one day though. Feed some Romulan ale and then ask me about the time I almost got myself into some deep shit on the Romulan home world, okay?
Y'all want some goddamn questions, fucking say so, pussies.
Little Peaches gave me some questions because some other fuckers were too pussy to do it.
1. Vhat are the most important lessons you've learned in life?
I believe I goddamn already posted this the other fucking day. Worth repeating though. If it's wet and sticky and not your own, don't touch it. There are some sub-lessons about proper glove handling procedures and inoculation on a regular basis for various blood-born pathogens and flesh-eating shit, but you want the short version, that's it.
2. Vhere is the furthest avay from home you hawe ewer been?
I get a little bit further from home every minute, Peaches.
3. Is there anything you hawe done vhich you regret?
There was this little rat-faced shit terrier that our neighbor had when I was growing up. I still regret not breaking that dog's fucking neck. I still have a scar from where that cunt-rag mutt bit me.
4. Vhat is the funniest joke you ewer heard?
I think it's a tie between:
Two baby seals walk into a club.
and
How do you make a dead baby float?
Two scoops of ice cream, milk, dead baby, blender.
5. Vhat has been the proudest moment of your life?
I'm a modest soul. You might could get me drunk enough to talk about it one day though. Feed some Romulan ale and then ask me about the time I almost got myself into some deep shit on the Romulan home world, okay?
Y'all want some goddamn questions, fucking say so, pussies.
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no subject
Date: 2009-11-20 12:46 am (UTC)Seriously, though. Who the hell are you?
no subject
Date: 2009-11-20 01:15 am (UTC)Dr. Leonard H. McCoy, CMO of the ISS Enterprise.
1. You are?
2. What's got your panties in a wad, boy?
3. You acquainted with that douchebag what looks like me on the fucking pussy universe Enterprise? Wait, that isn't specific enough since Cheeks, you know Cheeks? - actually does come from a pussy universe. I mean that weak willy can't get it up universe that half of a shit ton of people seem to be stuck in.
4. You ain't from around here, are you soldier?
5. You got a single fucking interesting thing to say or do you just stand around catching flies and raindrops all day?
no subject
Date: 2009-11-20 02:13 am (UTC)1. John Grimm, civilian aboard the USS Enterprise.
2. Nothing. Everything. S'not everyday you check your massive fucking computer built into the walls of your quarters to be greeted with a picture of yourself with long hair. Jesus, man. You look like a goddamn hippy.
3. Yup. We've met. And I wouldn't write off this universe as pussy just yet. I got a coupla friends you might be interested in getting acquainted with.
4. Nope. Born and raised on another universe. I'm an import.
5. I'm not sure where you are, but keep in mind that no matter how wily you think you are, you motherfucking asshat, I could tear you limb from limb.
And get a hair cut, for shit's sake. Damn.
no subject
Date: 2009-11-20 04:25 am (UTC)2. You people got something against peace, love, and fucking understanding?
5. Soldier, you ain't the first to threaten me - I've had worse done by better and thanked them for it after. In the meantime, I ain't done shit to you, boy, and you might want to keep that in mind before you go throwing threats around like a kid with a boner and a machine gun.
no subject
Date: 2009-11-20 04:33 am (UTC)2. Nah, man. Free-love and weed are my middle names. I just enjoy personal hygiene, yeah?
5. Doc, I hate to inform you of the fact, but you're not exactly cherries and rainbows. If you're not the top-notch asshat I've labled you as, then I'll blow Judas himself.
And lay off my dick and my gun. They're out of your league, asshat.
no subject
Date: 2009-11-20 04:38 am (UTC)Ain't said I'm not stone-cold asshole. Not my style to blow peach pits up your pucker, after all. But let me tell you something, boy: you still playing attention to that sort of hierarchical categorization then you're doing something fucking goddamn wrong. Leagues. What sort of bullshit is that? Just another excuse to put on a pansy suit and parade around like important folks. Fuck your leagues.
Unless it's bowling. I do like me some bowling.
no subject
Date: 2009-11-20 05:27 pm (UTC)Good thing you're not denying it, or I might be forced to call bullshit. Oh, wait. I already did.
And leagues are there for a reason. That is, to defy them. So, asshat, maybe I'm throwing down the gauntlet, here. Don't be too quick to jump to conclusions and assume shit about me. You don't know my ass from Adam's.
And bowling? Seriously? I really hope you're fucking kidding me.