Curiosity killed the fucking cat. Doing some goddamn memes brought it back.

[sharpestscalpel]

Or something to that fucking effect.

Little Peaches gave me some questions because some other fuckers were too pussy to do it.

1. Vhat are the most important lessons you've learned in life?

I believe I goddamn already posted this the other fucking day. Worth repeating though. If it's wet and sticky and not your own, don't touch it. There are some sub-lessons about proper glove handling procedures and inoculation on a regular basis for various blood-born pathogens and flesh-eating shit, but you want the short version, that's it.

2. Vhere is the furthest avay from home you hawe ewer been?

I get a little bit further from home every minute, Peaches.

3. Is there anything you hawe done vhich you regret?

There was this little rat-faced shit terrier that our neighbor had when I was growing up. I still regret not breaking that dog's fucking neck. I still have a scar from where that cunt-rag mutt bit me.

4. Vhat is the funniest joke you ewer heard?

I think it's a tie between:

Two baby seals walk into a club.

and

How do you make a dead baby float?

Two scoops of ice cream, milk, dead baby, blender.

5. Vhat has been the proudest moment of your life?

I'm a modest soul. You might could get me drunk enough to talk about it one day though. Feed some Romulan ale and then ask me about the time I almost got myself into some deep shit on the Romulan home world, okay?

Y'all want some goddamn questions, fucking say so, pussies.

Comments

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

1. Thought that might be the case. There's this bar on Klomack III you might like. If it exists in your reality.

2. Glad to know my logic is still in order.

3. Sounds hot.

4. Circumstances ever permit, we'll have to go drinking together then.

5. Pigeon pose, nice. Good extension of the hip flexors, that one. Among other things.

Questions for me - that's goddamn considerate of you, Cheeks.

1. Ideal situation, bartender'd serve me some old-fashioned, 60-year Macallan. Very well composed when it ages that long.
2. I'm harder to offend than all of that.
3. My experience with those folk is limited, you understand. I only got this one-way window there, you know? But I'd say half of 'em are about as dangerous and interesting as a stupid fucking 3-year-old and the rest are trying too hard to puff up and be tough guys like they got to impress me from a distance. They want to measure, I'll whip it out but this dandy posturing is getting old.
4. I end my day with some fucking Tittibhasana, every fucking day. Stretches the groin and keeps me balanced. Balance (and preventing groin pulls) is important.
5. I'm betting you're bored as fuck over there, inasmuch as you'll admit to being bored.