Curiosity killed the fucking cat. Doing some goddamn memes brought it back.

[sharpestscalpel]

Or something to that fucking effect.

Little Peaches gave me some questions because some other fuckers were too pussy to do it.

1. Vhat are the most important lessons you've learned in life?

I believe I goddamn already posted this the other fucking day. Worth repeating though. If it's wet and sticky and not your own, don't touch it. There are some sub-lessons about proper glove handling procedures and inoculation on a regular basis for various blood-born pathogens and flesh-eating shit, but you want the short version, that's it.

2. Vhere is the furthest avay from home you hawe ewer been?

I get a little bit further from home every minute, Peaches.

3. Is there anything you hawe done vhich you regret?

There was this little rat-faced shit terrier that our neighbor had when I was growing up. I still regret not breaking that dog's fucking neck. I still have a scar from where that cunt-rag mutt bit me.

4. Vhat is the funniest joke you ewer heard?

I think it's a tie between:

Two baby seals walk into a club.

and

How do you make a dead baby float?

Two scoops of ice cream, milk, dead baby, blender.

5. Vhat has been the proudest moment of your life?

I'm a modest soul. You might could get me drunk enough to talk about it one day though. Feed some Romulan ale and then ask me about the time I almost got myself into some deep shit on the Romulan home world, okay?

Y'all want some goddamn questions, fucking say so, pussies.

Comments

[rn-chapel.livejournal.com]

I thought you were the one getting all rattled last time. Guess everybody sees things a little differently.

1. If the situation calls for it, sure.

2. Long enough to reach the ground when I stand up.

3. On what, a scale of 1-10? I guess I'd give myself a seven or so. Would be higher if I'd kept up with ballet.

4. A little. Sometimes we're busy doing other things, though. Did you know he screams like a girl if you touch him just right?

5. I suddenly realized that I had a final in an hour for a class that I hadn't been attending all semester but had forgotten to drop, and that if I didn't miraculously get a 100% on the test I'd flunk the class and my GPA would drop and I'd lose my scholarships. I hate that one.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

You wishing I were all hot and bothered?

3. I always appreciate flexibility in a woman.

4. I'd be interested in that story, actually. Though, yeah, I do know and I don't think I'll be telling you how.

5. Oh, shit, I can sympathize. I hate those fucking school dreams.

[rn-chapel.livejournal.com]

I think you might be projecting a little bit, there.

3. It's a useful trait, both literally and more metaphorically.

4. I don't think I'll be telling you, either.

5. They're awful! I think I'd rather have ten falling-off-a-cliff dreams instead of one about-to-fail-a-class dream.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

4. We'll see. A trade of information is sometimes profitable for both parties.

5. Fuck yeah. Falling off a cliff, bam, you're dead, you wake up, what the fuck ever. Academic dreams haunt stick with a person in the morning. Ugh.