Giving fucking thanks

[sharpestscalpel]

Yesterday was goddamn Thanksgiving. I always fucking forget about it with the whole fucking stardate thing instead of regular calendars. Goddamn fucking 'Fleet messing up a perfectly adequate method of keeping shitting track of the time of year.

Any goddamn way.

Fucking Thanksgiving.

Replicated turkey is bullshit so I don't fucking eat it. But I had a little something left over from the last away mission that I cooked up over a flame in the lab. BBQ. Nothing fucking like it even if it ain't goddamn fucking traditional.

Mama always did make us count our fucking blessings. So I guess this year I'm goddamn thankful for the following shit-sucking items:

Fucking space, man
The parathyroid glands
These shit-kicking boots what got me out of fucking trouble at that one base
The old family place back in Georgia
The amygdala
Pointy ears
The fucking ship learning a new goddamn song because the other one was getting fucking old
Lube
Hot sauce and scrambled eggs
Romulan porn
The fucking surrealists
Post-goddamn-modernism
Edith Quimby, PhD
Franz Stangl
Crepes
Maker's Mark
Jazz from the old-Earth 1920s

I could fucking go on but this kind of sappy bullshit is making me want to puke.

Comments

[emma-mccoy.livejournal.com]

Can't censor the universe. Ah well.

And crepes? Definitely a thing to be thankful for.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

You like them sweet or savory?

[emma-mccoy.livejournal.com]

Oh. Sweet. Obviously. Always had a bit of a sweet tooth.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

Should've taken you for a lady with a sweet tooth, sweet thing like you.

[emma-mccoy.livejournal.com]

...yeah, those comments are still creepy because the you from this universe spent about 36 hours on his way out my birth canal.

And if I said savory?

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

Vagina's a marvelous work and a wonder with its ability to recover from birthing, I have to say. I'm a deep admirer.

Deep being the operative word.

[emma-mccoy.livejournal.com]

When you've given birth, we'll talk about the wonders of a vagina.

I set myself up for that one, didn't I?

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

Delivered more than my fair share of babies, including my own. Don't figure I'd have the stamina for that one, that's for fucking sure.

Just a bit, ma'am. Don't make it not true though.

[emma-mccoy.livejournal.com]

Yeah , even at the skeletal level, men can't handle giving birth.

Excuse me, I'm going to go bang my head against the bulkhead.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

I'm just going to say, I think cultural construction plays a big role in perceived gender differences but sometimes the skeleton just has the final say.

That's a fancy way to give yourself a concussion.

[emma-mccoy.livejournal.com]

Bones don't lie. Maybe in a couple more thousand years, the male pelvis would be able to handle the birthing process.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

Might be an interesting experience, I got to say.

Kids's fucking precious, no matter how you get them.

[emma-mccoy.livejournal.com]

Stick around for a few millenia and it might just happen.

And yes they are. It took a while but we were finally able to conceive. We never were able to make lightning strike twice no matter how hard we tried.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

The trying is mighty fun, though, you have to admit.

Why, sometimes I even like to practice all by myself.

;)

[emma-mccoy.livejournal.com]

That's classified information.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

Damn, woman.

You and your secrets.