Giving fucking thanks

[sharpestscalpel]

Yesterday was goddamn Thanksgiving. I always fucking forget about it with the whole fucking stardate thing instead of regular calendars. Goddamn fucking 'Fleet messing up a perfectly adequate method of keeping shitting track of the time of year.

Any goddamn way.

Fucking Thanksgiving.

Replicated turkey is bullshit so I don't fucking eat it. But I had a little something left over from the last away mission that I cooked up over a flame in the lab. BBQ. Nothing fucking like it even if it ain't goddamn fucking traditional.

Mama always did make us count our fucking blessings. So I guess this year I'm goddamn thankful for the following shit-sucking items:

Fucking space, man
The parathyroid glands
These shit-kicking boots what got me out of fucking trouble at that one base
The old family place back in Georgia
The amygdala
Pointy ears
The fucking ship learning a new goddamn song because the other one was getting fucking old
Lube
Hot sauce and scrambled eggs
Romulan porn
The fucking surrealists
Post-goddamn-modernism
Edith Quimby, PhD
Franz Stangl
Crepes
Maker's Mark
Jazz from the old-Earth 1920s

I could fucking go on but this kind of sappy bullshit is making me want to puke.

Comments

Private to Dr. McCoy

[gold-ambition.livejournal.com]

Look, I'm undercover. I don't want to get off on the wrong foot, here, but I don't want to let on I'm not from the land of fucking unicorns and rainbows. That said...

I'm definitely not fucking him, that's for sure. You call that an insult? When I insult you, you'll know.

Why are you making my point for me? I just figured someone so uptight about some classy gold sparkles has other hangups including where he puts his sweet little mouth. Sorry about the miscommunication.

Private to Sparkly-britches

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

Under-fucking-cover? Why you hiding your shit-eating identity?

Big talk, Sparkly-britches.

Classy? You better be fucking spelling that with a goddamn K. Klassy like a fucking trailer park at Christmas right before a freak tornado.

You'd fucking beg for my sweet little mouth - and you'd not be the goddamn first. But, yeah, fucking miscommunication, what the shit ever.

Who the fuck are you and I won't be goddamn asking again.

Re: Private to Sparkly-britches

[gold-ambition.livejournal.com]

Because I'm actually on this fucking Broadway musical of a ship and the last time I met up with Captain Compassion's crew they threw me in the brig for breathing. Not doing that again.

I'm Captain James T. Kirk of the ISS Enterprise. Who the fuck are you?

Re: Private to Sparkly-britches

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

Well, now, that's fucking interesting.

Dr. Leonard Horatio McCoy, chief medical officer of the fucking ISS Enterprise. And you ain't my goddamn captain, that's for fucking sure.

Re: Private to Sparkly-britches

[gold-ambition.livejournal.com]

No. You're the one that goes with that other Pike, the leather daddy. And you sure don't look like my CMO. Bet you fuck like him, thought.

Re: Private to Sparkly-britches

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

You fuck your CMO? I hope he's up to date on his shots because you look plum infected.

Sounds like my idea of a good time, I gotta say.

Leather, Sparkly-britches, will turn a casual blade and provides at least a little fucking protection for the soft underbelly bits. That sparkly shit'll just shred.

Re: Private to Sparkly-britches

[gold-ambition.livejournal.com]

I fuck whomever I like, and I look fucking fine is how I look.

Didn't say a word against leather. Didn't make the uniforms, either. Was simply using the description. Is it regulation for you to look like a refugee from a fucking poetry slam?

Re: Private to Sparkly-britches

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

What you got against poetry?

Those angsty kids fuck like they're dying. It's goddamn beautiful. And they'll buy the drinks.

Re: Private to Sparkly-britches

[gold-ambition.livejournal.com]

What have you got against gold? I look fucking edible in this uniform. You don't look so bad yourself. Don't take everything so personally.

Re: Private to Sparkly-britches

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

You making a pass at me, Sparkly-britches?

Re: Private to Sparkly-britches

[gold-ambition.livejournal.com]

I'd fuck anything at this point. Whatever else you've got to be thankful for, be goddamn thankful you're not on this ship.

Re: Private to Sparkly-britches

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

That's a charming fucking offer. You and the proto-carcass down in our brig got some things in common, I goddamn see.

Why you lacking for tail? Everyone else seems to be up to their fucking eyebrows in it.

Re: Private to Sparkly-britches

[gold-ambition.livejournal.com]

Seems to be a Kirk thing. Have you seen that fucker up there?

You know, I think that's part of the problem. Can't find anywhere he isn't currently.

Re: Private to Sparkly-britches

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

You mean seen in the biblical sense? Then no.

You got a problem with sloppy seconds?

Re: Private to Sparkly-britches

[gold-ambition.livejournal.com]

I just meant with the getting around.

And no. Just that he seems to be everywhere at once. Fucking everyone.

Re: Private to Sparkly-britches

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

That's kind of goddamn impressive on his part.

Re: Private to Sparkly-britches

[gold-ambition.livejournal.com]

Fuck me, not you too.

Re: Private to Sparkly-britches

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

I might fucking fuck you, Sparkly-britches. How well do you squirm?

Re: Private to Sparkly-britches

[gold-ambition.livejournal.com]

Evidently you have a taste for the opposite. And it's been a long time since I just lay back and took it. Which is not an invitation.

Re: Private to Sparkly-britches

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

I got a variety of tastes. You have no goddamn idea.

Re: Private to Sparkly-britches

[gold-ambition.livejournal.com]

That's what I like to hear. You take as good as you dish out, we might have something.

Re: Private to Sparkly-britches

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

You talk awful hard. But I don't think you've got what it takes to fucking make me take it which means you ain't as interesting as all that trouble.

Re: Private to Sparkly-britches

[gold-ambition.livejournal.com]

You know what? Bones thought so, too. Made it all the more fucking delicious when he figured it out. Guess we'll never know, will we?

Re: Private to Sparkly-britches

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

We'll never know unless you fucking make me.

No one ever challenged you direct to your face, boy?

Re: Private to Sparkly-britches

[gold-ambition.livejournal.com]

We'll never know because you're in another fucking universe. Boy.