Fic: The Postman Always Pings Twice
Feb. 14th, 2011 09:42 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sharpestscalpelPrompt: #45 – TEASE ME : The boys are separated for a couple weeks. For whatever reason, visual communication is not available, so they are sending sub-space messages that get more interesting as their reunion gets closer. Can we see them?
Rating: R
Warnings: Sex with people who are not Jim
Word Count: ~5,500
A/N: This is a few hours late (I cannot even be coherent about work over today, the weekend, and this past week, barf), so the porn didn't have a chance to flow. It's in the works, though. Also, title aside, this is not a noir story.
Fic from Jim's POV: Dear Bones, bymisfitdauphine
McCoy slapped his viewscreen closed and flopped back into his chair with an irritated huff. He’d been on Earth for a week solid. His work was done, paperwork all filed up neat and tidy. But the Enterprise was still three weeks out, limping home on impulse engines. Again.
Bones,
Yeah, uh, promise you won’t get mad. It wasn’t my fault and no one is hurt.
Jim’s communication wasn’t what McCoy would call forthcoming. He ran it through his mind, his Jim-to-Standard filter picking up between the lines enough to reveal the salient details. Being on Earth for a conference had its silver linings and missing out on engagements with trigger happy Klingons - especially when no personnel had actually been injured - was one of them. But Jim had been hitting the med supply closet without supervision if he genuinely thought McCoy was going to let him off the hook for that one so easily. Especially if the ship was damaged enough that it couldn’t manage the usual video transmissions.
He groaned and opened the viewscreen again.
Dear Jim,
What the hell were you thinking? Were you even thinking? Klingons? Are you trying to get yourself killed?
L
Ordinarily, McCoy wouldn’t be a man to look unexpected leave in the proverbial mouth. But Jocelyn had Joanna off-planet for some educational opportunity he hadn’t paid enough attention to when she’d explained it. And while Pike had issued an open invitation for drinking and socializing, it felt an awful lot like a pity fuck without the fucking.
Maybe he’d take in a goddamn movie.
His screened pinged at him before McCoy could contemplate actually leaving his quarters to go see whatever dross was passing for entertainment these days. Probably something with that Urban fellow all the nurses were swooning over.
Bones, Bones, Bones, I would never. You’d kill me if I got myself killed without you here to tell me what an idiot I was being.
Morbid humor aside, seriously, it took us all by surprise. The crew was amazing; I wish you’d been here to see them.
Jim
That warm feeling in his chest was probably just lunch repeating on him.
Dear Jim,
Listen, kid, I don’t need more reason to be afraid of you dying on my table, okay? Keep yourself out of trouble. In fact, what are you even doing up? It’s the middle of the damn night there.
L
McCoy scowled at the chrono - it really was the middle of the damn night and all good little captains, especially ones who were probably lying and minimizing their injuries, needed to get some damn rest. Maybe he could comm M’Benga, get the man to head over to Jim’s with a hypo of sedative and a tricorder. That was usually McCoy’s job but in absentia...
Another ping pulled his attention back to his screen before he could work himself up into too high a dudgeon.
I am totally already in bed, Bonesy. Geoff hit me with something from your approved list a minute ago so I think I may actually be high as a kite. It’s distracting and I can’t sleep. My sheets feel good though.
Well then. Looked like McCoy owed M’Benga a night off if he’d managed to harrangue Jim into accepting some form of treatment. Man hadn’t gotten it entirely right if Jim were still awake but the stoned effect was a pretty typical response to the fairly mild painkillers Jim would allow. McCoy cracked a smile. Then he grabbed his PADD and shut the viewscreen again. Jim was going to be up for a while; might as well keep him company - and McCoy might as well be comfortable while he did it.
He shucked the clothes he’d been fretting with even before Jim’s message and donned the soft sleep pants he favored. Jocelyn had always tried to get him to sleep naked but he liked a little security between his tender parts and the environment, thank you very much. He tucked himself between his own quite satisfactory sheets. Hotel beds were definitely a perk.
Dear Jim,
Tell Geoff to give you a hit of an old-school benzo if you need to sleep.
McCoy shifted, curled up on his side.
But this seems like a golden damn opportunity for you to tell me what’s been going on in my absence. Any change in our betting situation? Don’t think Klingons will stop me from collecting.
L
The PADD gave its little noise signalling an incoming message before McCoy could even put the damn thing down.
No change, all systems normal as far as that situation goes. She keeps standing real close though - and I think she may be sending him dirty messages on shift. Sulu got all red and uncomfortable for about twenty minutes before the first shots were fired. I know that look - that look is the look of a man getting explicit promises promised.
He had to laugh at that. It sound like Rand was amping up her seduction game.
Jim - What kind of promise can you offer me that you didn’t just orchestrate this little intergalactic incident to save yourself 200 credits? That there’s a woman who’s going to get her man.
L
The bet had been made in jest. But Leonard Horatio McCoy was not a man who liked to lose.
I swear, Bonesy, I thought he and Chekov had a thing. I’m usually pretty good at picking up on these things.
If they’d been throwing back a drink in Jim’s quarters, this would be the moment, McCoy knew, when Jim flushed a little bit and wouldn’t make eye contact. How many years had they been friends and Jim still couldn’t come right out and say he fucked men, tried to act like McCoy didn’t know Jim enjoyed it from both sides? From all sides really but it was Jim’s relationships with men that they danced around.
Jim, I can assure you Chekov’s interests lay elsewhere. The kind of elsewhere that’s female and a bit older. Your ability to pick up on “these things” is trumped by my unfortunate first-hand knowledge. I’m just saying that kid is even paler when he doesn’t have any pants on.
That got precisely the reaction McCoy had figured it would.
BONES YOU HAVE BEEN HOLDING OUT ON ME.
Another message arrived on the heels of the first.
BONES BONES BONES, BONES WHAT DID YOU SEE?
Jim had an unholy love of caps lock at the best of times.
Jim, Wouldn’t be gentlemanly to share all the dirty little details. Let’s just say the next time Chekov gives you those puppy eyes, you shouldn’t fall for the innocent act, and leave it at that.
L
It had been undeniably hot. Even if McCoy had never ever wanted to see his boss in that sort of position. That sort of flexible position. Chekov had just shrugged and muttered something about the sex drives of older women. McCoy had backed away and locked the door behind him.
The ping of his PADD made McCoy smile into his pillow. Jim just needed some company on nights like this was all. And it felt good, like the early days of their friendship at the Academy.
McCoy laughed aloud and typed up his reply with nimble fingers.
***
The buzz of his door alarm pulled McCoy from a groggy dream that he started to forget as soon as he opened his eyes. He’d been comfortable, though, somewhere familiar. He blinked against the harsh summons of the sound. “Computer, identify visitor.” It was a damn wonder the computer could understand him - McCoy could barely understand his own gravel voice.
“Admiral Christopher Pike.”
McCoy groaned and pushed himself up on his elbows. The computer took that as a response - which shouldn’t have come as a surprise given how often he’d grunted commands at the thing.
“Rise and shine, McCoy.” Pike was relentlessly cheerful. But even he stopped when he caught a glimpse of McCoy. “Is that... McCoy, you have a PADD stuck to your face.”
He was all-over numb, too close to sleep to really have any connection to his nerve impulses just at the moment. McCoy grumbled and batted at his face and, sure enough, his PADD fell back onto his pillow. The blinking light caught his eye - two messages.
bones, go to sleep bones talk to you tomorrow
and
Bones! You aren’t up yet? Slacker. I’m cleared for Bridge duty, light action only so I promise no engagements. We’ll talk later, yeah?
McCoy groaned and buried his face in his pillow. He’d gotten used to a routine, dammit, to a good 8 hours of sleep unless there was an emergency. Trading messages all night - he wasn’t a damn teenaged girl.
“Come on, Leonard - welcome to the first day of the rest of your guest lecturer position.”
Pike was an asshole, drinks and work aside. Maybe McCoy could smother his own self if he tried hard enough.
***
It hadn’t been a joke - Pike had pulled some strings and, somehow, McCoy wasn’t interested in asking how, secured an office and a lecture schedule for McCoy in the medical wing. It’d been a hell of a day, an exhausting day.
And it had been a good day, too. Pike had waited for McCoy to shower, had plied him with coffee and some sort of flaky Risan pastry that tasted like it involved a great deal of butter. Then they’d zipped off to the medical school where McCoy had been treated like a goddamn visiting dignitary. He’d sat with a fresh-faced cadet who was apparently that most magical of things: a personal assistant - he’d sat with the young man and they’d laid out a schedule of lectures. Ambitious, perhaps, to start in two days, but McCoy wasn’t afraid of a challenge, particularly when it came to producing better doctors.
McCoy toed off his boots, pulled his tunic over his head. A shower would be just the damn thing. Then he had to head back out for drinks. Pike had invited him to join some of the higher-ups - it’d be good to have a chance to sit down with Phillip Boyce, at the very least. And if he could confirm the rumors about Pike and Boyce and the mysterious woman who still only went by One, well, that was just a bonus. A bonus for which Jim would owe him significantly more credits than he already did over the Sulu situation.
“Aw, shit.” McCoy had been headed for the bathroom; he reversed himself, sat down at his console instead. He hadn’t had a lick of time to respond to Jim’s comm from that morning.
Jim,
Chris - Admiral Pike - pulled some kind of damn miracle off and put me to work. No vacation for me - so you’ve got no reason to be jealous. I’ve got to meet Chris and some other people for drinks - talk later? In the meantime, get some sleep, you idiot.
L
The shower was hot, the water was plentiful, and the soap was actually a fancy sandalwood body wash he’d picked up on his way back. McCoy had grown to love the Enterprise but Earth had sonic showers beat by a Georgia country mile. He lathered up, enjoyed the slippery feel of clean skin under his hands as he washed himself. A shower wasn’t all he needed, honestly. A few of the nurses had made eyes at him - it had been a jarring reminder of just how long he’d depended on himself for relief. McCoy was a relationship man; but even relationship men needed to get laid sometimes.
He had a hand around his growing erection when the cheerful sound of a new message rang out, muffled through the door but persistent. Probably Jim. Damn kid. Damn damn damn. It was exasperation, pure and simple - but it was fond exasperation. And the only reason it wasn’t more than fond was Jim himself. Well, and maybe some reserve on McCoy’s own part as well. He had a best friend. It’d be outright greedy to ask for more. And Jim was so defensive anyway, when it came to men. McCoy slicked his hands over his arms. If Jim couldn’t admit to having a thing for cock, McCoy had no damn reason to think the kid would be amenable to changing things up between them.
McCoy sighed, gave his dick a few more half-hearted strokes before giving it up as a bad job. Talk about a boner killer.
The towel was fluffier than the ones he used on the Enterprise, too. Maybe he’d take some back. Man in his position, he needed to start taking his pleasures where he could find them. Which... was a hell of a depressing thought.
It would be better, maybe, to call Chris - Pike - hell, McCoy didn’t even know what to call the man anymore. It would be better to call the whole drinks thing off, decline the friendly invite. “Leonard, that is your goddamn social anxiety talking. Get your ass dressed and go make nice with the fancy suits.” If there was one thing he’d remembered today, it was that there was no stopping Christopher Pike when the man was on a mission.
Still, his movements were slow as he pulled on dress pants and a crisp, dark shirt. He kept his gaze away from the console but his mood had already shifted to something more melancholy. He hadn’t intended to nurse a little bit of a flame for Jim Kirk. And it was just about past time he got over it.
McCoy’s resolve lasted until he had a foot out of his door. He stopped, shook his head, and turned on his heel. The console was seven steps from the door. He sat, careful not to wrinkle his pants.
Oooh, on a first name basis with the brass now, Bonesy? Don’t let that dirty old man in your pants; you know you belong to the Enterprise and she’d be hurt if you cheated on her. Enjoy your drinks - and, you know, comm me when you get back if you feel like catching up. Nothing momentous to report. I just kind of, anyway, it isn’t the same without you here.
The smile that spread across his face was completely involuntary. McCoy typed out his response before he could think twice and stop himself.
Jim,
I ain’t wearing a chastity belt, and the Enterprise has never propositioned me for any sort of exclusive relationship. If I’m not back too late, I’ll pop you a message, touch base before I crash.
L
***
Good intentions really did pave the way to hell, McCoy thought when he rolled over and blinked open gummy eyes far too early for the second morning in a row. It was dark wherever he was - and that bastard Chris was humming something tuneless that still managed to sound both innocently cheerful and smug as all sin.
Too much to drink - he’d never underestimate his superior officers again. As Phil had put it sometime between the last bar they’d visited and the greasy spoon they’d stopped at for some food to soak up all the alcohol, the extra years had just given them more time to practice.
It wasn’t until the mattress - a very fine mattress, McCoy had to admit - shifted that he started from his regretful ruminations and realized he wasn’t alone in bed.
Shit. Oh, shit.
McCoy squeezed his eyes shut - it seemed to help his memory. Yeah, that had been a very fine Chris Pike in his lap at some point, with the wiry hot body of Phil Boyce behind him. One - as gorgeous as he’d always heard whispered and twice as sharp at poker - had been reclining, watching, directing.The three of them had taken care of his getting-laid problem in fairly spectacular fashion.
The slide of a smooth heel against his calf made him sit up - and the pounding of his head made him fall back again. McCoy’s groan was answer by a low, female chuckle. One, it was One still in bed with him. Oh, for fuck’s sake.
“Good morning, Leonard. Have you already begun to regret our encounter or would you be amenable to morning intercourse?” That was a warm breast pressed against his side. “Phillip and Christopher are distressingly early risers.”
Her voice was hot breath on the side of his neck. McCoy weighed his options. No one was threatening to court martial him and it would just be rude to turn a lady down. Especially one who’d gone out of her way to show him such a good time last night...
McCoy rolled over a bit, tucked One’s lithely muscular form closer to his own body. “Wouldn’t be much of a gentleman if I said no to that kind of request.” He’d panic later. Much later.
***
The four of them had spent the day lazing around Chris’s apartment, though McCoy had tried, awkward and stilted, to thank everyone for a lovely evening and leave the second time he’d woken up. They had convinced him, somehow, to at least stay for breakfast. That had turned into making out over lazy cups of coffee. The day had continued in the same vein until One had needed to leave for an appointment and offered McCoy a ride back to his room. She was apparently the only one of them capable of giving McCoy a graceful exit. Chris had kissed him at the door, told him they’d see each other on campus. Phil had pinched McCoy’s ass and tickled his ear with that mustache; no one had made any promises.
“Your distress is not very well disguised.” One kept her eyes on the road - the old-fashioned vehicle was sleek and hungry, devouring the curves of the road. McCoy held on to his seatbelt and tried to moderate the glare he’d been directing at the dashboard. Jim would have loved this car.
“I don’t have any complaints, I don’t mean that. I’m just not very sure what the rules are in these sorts of situations and I tend toward pessimism.” It was, if not a gracious answer, at least polite. He’d have to be satisfied with that.
One was a woman with very good posture. Even when she’d been slumped across Phil’s chest in exhaustion, McCoy could hear her posture in her voice. Something had softened though; she managed an indulgent tone that made McCoy’s scalp tingle behind his ears. “There are no rules, Leonard.”
And if that wasn’t the guiding philosophy of every goddamn Starfleet captain he knew then McCoy didn’t know what was.
“You’ll forgive me if I disagree there.” There were always expectations, pitfalls McCoy missed, traps he fell into when he thought he’d finally found his confident footing. “In my experience, there’s always rules for us ordinary folk.”
Phil had snorted like that, amused and derisive all at the same time. One must have learned it from him. “You apply my meaning too broadly. In our private life, Leonard Horatio McCoy, we set our own standards.” Her regard shifted from the road to him for a moment. “We wanted you. You wanted us. Save your remorse for actual transgression.”
He flushed, studied the dash again. “I apologize. I told you, I’m not very good at these sorts of things.”
The car stopped, as smooth and controlled as the ride had been. One’s eyes were sharp and chilly when she turned to face McCoy more fully. He felt a keener awareness of her prickle through him: she had been judged the superior individual of her generation on her planet, that meant something real, wasn’t just a string of slightly discomfiting words. “Tell me, Leonard, why you are so afraid of pain.”
It was not a question. There was no choice but to answer her. “I like my life. I don’t want to fuck it up.” That was half of it - and as she stared at him, patient as a spider, McCoy sighed, rubbed his hands over his face, and gave her the rest. “I know how low I’ve been; I don’t want to go there again, and I don’t want to find out there’s someplace lower.” It caught him sometimes, the memory of his own drunk-sour mouth in the morning, too-bright light an assault, papers signing his life away sitting like laed in his pocket. It was true now, though - McCoy did like his life. It wasn’t his old life, not by any stretch of the imagination, but he had things to lose. Things he didn’t want to see the back side of. “I have enough regrets.”
One’s lips, lips that had been wrapped around his cock just that afternoon, curved into a surprising smile, austere and gentle. “You’re young, Leonard. If you never have anything else to regret, you will have lived quite a safe and tragic existence indeed.”
He flinched away from it; One leaned over to kiss him anyway, once on each cheek. “Take more risks. And join us for dinner tomorrow - less drinking, more food. We like you; you can make your own rules for that.”
McCoy closed the car door softly behind him. He stumbled to his room. It was entirely the same, but he felt entirely different, at least for now. Take more risks, she’d said. Maybe he would, just maybe he would. But the thing with her and Chris and Phil, that wasn’t really risky, was it? It had been clear enough that they did like him - but they loved each other. And McCoy wasn’t going to confuse what his heart felt and his dick felt again - he’d made that mistake already.
His head made a solid thudding noise when he knocked his forehead against the closed door. That steady sound wasn’t his ears ringing - it was the insistent ping of his console.
Fuck a goddamn duck. He’d forgotten about Jim.
Hey, Bones, guess you’re still out partying with the upper echelon. I’m in for the night so hit me up whenever you get in. You know how I am.
Jim didn’t sleep enough.
Bones? I fell asleep for a little while there - it’s, what, 4am there now? You really are tearing it up; wish I were there to see it. Don’t think we’ve gone out like that since our first semester at the Academy.
They’d both been hurting - bruised up on the inside if not the outside. There’d been a fair amount of blunting things with alcohol - McCoy had gone to class in a numb haze on more than one occasion. But they’d cleaned up, found their places, gotten sucked into the challenges presented by their coursework. They’d found themselves.
Hey, uh, Bones, are you okay? It’s the middle of alpha shift and I haven’t heard anything from you. Can you just comm me, let me know you aren’t dead in a ditch with Pike and crew and somewhere? Um, please don’t be dead?
Middle of alpha... McCoy would have been waking up to coffee provided by Phil and Chris at that point.
So, um, I’m not hearing anything back from Pike either - Bones, seriously, if you’re dead when you’re supposed to be safe on Earth I am never going to forgive you. Just... comm me, okay? Please?
There it was right there - that tight feeling in his chest. If McCoy wanted risky... Jim was risky. He closed his eyes, rubbed his hands over his face again. He and Phil had shared a shower, talking idly about medical developments, articles they’d both read. He didn’t smell like sex anymore, at least.
Dear Jim,
Hey, kid, I’m sorry.
McCoy paused, unsure. He had to say something, he wasn’t just going to leave Jim hanging.
I wound up crashing at Chris’s place, didn’t check my messages, sorry. If I ever get cocky about my ability to hold my liquor? Remind me about last night.
And, listen, I apologize, you know, for not letting you know I was okay. I didn’t realize you’d worry so much.
L
Early to bed - his first lecture was first thing in the morning. And for the rest of the afternoon... McCoy chuckled. He’d catch up on his reading. That was safe. Hell, that was virtuous. He’d think about this later.
He’d just managed to find his place in the novel he’d picked up on the shuttle to Earth when the console beeped again. McCoy sighed. No rest - he must be more wicked than he thought.
Oh, holy shit, it’s good to hear from you, Bones. I was getting ready to comm Fernandez, see if he’d start checking the hospitals for a totally hot amnesiac grouch. What the hell, man? I’m glad you crashed at Pike’s place but WHAT THE HELL?
Oh, hell. McCoy could read between the lines - Jim had been seriously worried.
Jim,
I’m sorry, I really am. I didn’t mean to worry you - I really was drunk as all hell; I woke up in bed this morning and didn’t even know where I was or who I was with. I swear, I didn’t plan any of that.
L
He hit send before he realized what he’d typed.
The ping of the console wasn’t even a surprised anymore.
DID YOU FUCK PIKE?
It was only three in the afternoon. Too early for decent men to turn to alcohol - and he’d had enough anyway. It was a damn shame he hadn’t managed to smother himself when Chris came calling, bright and early yesterday morning.
My memory isn’t real clear on that point, actually. I know I’m sore as all hell. But that could have been any of them.
L
That, in retrospect, might have been too much information.
ANY OF THEM? WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN MEAN BONES?
Definitely too much information.
Jim,
Listen, Jim, don’t worry about it. I’m back in my room and everything’s totally okay. Okay? Okay.
L
Another message came in as soon as he’d hit send.
You know what, Bones? Don’t even tell me. I don’t want to hear it. I was worried and you were out - no, fine, don’t worry about it. I’m glad you’re not dead. I’ve got shit to do, I’ll talk to you later.
McCoy stared at the screen. Then he closed it, picked up his article, and stared off into space.
***
After three days of silence, McCoy sent another message. He’d joined Chris and Phil and One for dinner and more but, as much as he’d enjoyed himself, it had just further convinced him. If he was going to risk anything, he knew who he’d risk it for.
Dear Jim,
Haven’t heard from you in a few days. I’m not worried, I know you’re doing just fine. I just wanted to, I don’t know. I just wanted to apologize again. And tell you that I miss you. I miss you, kid.
L
He was a doctor, dammit, not a poet.
***
After a full week had passed, McCoy tried again.
Dear Jim,
Guess this is the part where you would tell me you aren’t speaking to me - except you aren’t speaking to me and me not being there makes that a little harder to get across than usual. I don’t have anything to be sorry for, other than not staying in touch. But I am sorry about that.
I saw the new itinerary. I don’t know how you shaved those days off but I’m glad you’re getting here early. It’ll be good to get home, Jim. Feels strange to be saying it, all things considered. But the Enterprise is home.
See you in a week.
L
***
It took another day and half for his PADD to ping at him. He was in the middle of a lecture; the noise caught him off guard enough that he stopped mid-sentence. There was a ringing silence in the lecture hall, and then the shock was broken by a nervous giggle from somewhere in the audience.
“Sorry about that, y’all. Today’s object lesson - always turn your noises off when you’re with patients. They deserve your damn attention, all of it.”
But McCoy, for once, did not practice what he preached - his students had, at most, half of his attention. The rest was occupied, poking at what Jim might have written him (and it had to be Jim, no one else had that comm address) as though the unread comm were a loose tooth. He ended early, told them to ask each other their questions and come back to him with the answers at the next lecture. Then McCoy trotted to his office, restraining himself from a dead run; he had his dignity.
At least he had a little of it.
Bones - It’ll be good to have you home. Just... just make sure you come back home, okay?
McCoy slumped back in his chair. Of course he was going home. Of course, that had never been a question.
Jim, Jim, of course I’m coming back. What are you thinking? Seriously.
L
***
He’d made it all the way to his room, PADD clutched in his waiting hand, before a response came in.
Pike told me about the lecture thing you’ve got going. And then you, you know, with Pike and whoever else. And. Well. You’d be closer to Joanna. And you wouldn’t have to worry about space.
That was rid-damn-diculous. McCoy stomped around his quarters, changed into his sleep pants even though it was early. He’d declined the now-standing invitation to join Chris and the others as soon as Jim’s message came in.
Jim,
You’re a damn fool.
L
McCoy didn’t even realize he was smiling.
Where do you get off calling me names, Bones? You’re the one sleeping with, um, well, I know you’re screwed Pike. You’re gonna tell me it’s none of my business. But you’re part of my crew. And that makes it my business.
That... wasn’t what McCoy was expecting. Not by a long shot.
It isn’t your business. You’ve never shown any interest in my personal life as far as that goes so I don’t know why you’re so hot under the collar now.
What’s going on in that head of yours?
L
Jim was so damn exasperating. There was no other word for it.
You’re so goddamn clueless, Bones. I’ve got delta shift. I’ll comm you later.
The room had a distinct chill. He hadn’t noticed it before. McCoy sighed.
Jim,
That’s fine, kid. I’ll look forward to it; maybe you’ll enlighten me. It’s gotta be said - I ain’t the only one running around with blinders on, you just think on that.
L
***
He was going to have to have a talk with someone about this waking up at ass o’clock in the morning nonsense. McCoy couldn’t even identify what it was that had made him shift awake. Then the noise came again. He groped for the PADD.
I know it’s the middle of the night there. I hope this doesn’t wake you - but I guess I kind of hope you’re awake, too. I miss you, Bones. And, it’s possible that I was jealous. Just a little. Comm me when you wake up? I just really want to know you’re around and thinking about me, too.
It was warm and comfortable in his bed. And McCoy, all of a sudden, had never felt more lonely.
Jim,
Just woke up. Miss you, too. I didn’t know you wanted to sleep with Chris. I think he might feel real fatherly toward you.
L
His eyes slid closed and he breathed, deep and regular, cozy. McCoy waited.
Bones, go back to sleep, Bones... it’s not Chris I want to sleep with, okay?
If it had been the middle of the day, the afternoon or the evening, McCoy would have brushed it off. But in the middle of the night, in the dark and the heat, he decided to take a risk.
Dear Jim,
All you have to do is ask.
L
The wait was long enough that McCoy almost fell asleep.
Bones?
His fingers were clumsy but he managed a response.
Jim,
Yeah?
L
***
He woke up without his alarm. McCoy fumbled for his PADD.
Sleep tight, Bones. We’ll talk more tomorrow, okay? I believe you. I do. Four more days.
Jim
It was something. It was a start. McCoy stretched.
Four more days.
Rating: R
Warnings: Sex with people who are not Jim
Word Count: ~5,500
A/N: This is a few hours late (I cannot even be coherent about work over today, the weekend, and this past week, barf), so the porn didn't have a chance to flow. It's in the works, though. Also, title aside, this is not a noir story.
Fic from Jim's POV: Dear Bones, by
misfitdauphineMcCoy slapped his viewscreen closed and flopped back into his chair with an irritated huff. He’d been on Earth for a week solid. His work was done, paperwork all filed up neat and tidy. But the Enterprise was still three weeks out, limping home on impulse engines. Again.
Bones,
Yeah, uh, promise you won’t get mad. It wasn’t my fault and no one is hurt.
Jim’s communication wasn’t what McCoy would call forthcoming. He ran it through his mind, his Jim-to-Standard filter picking up between the lines enough to reveal the salient details. Being on Earth for a conference had its silver linings and missing out on engagements with trigger happy Klingons - especially when no personnel had actually been injured - was one of them. But Jim had been hitting the med supply closet without supervision if he genuinely thought McCoy was going to let him off the hook for that one so easily. Especially if the ship was damaged enough that it couldn’t manage the usual video transmissions.
He groaned and opened the viewscreen again.
Dear Jim,
What the hell were you thinking? Were you even thinking? Klingons? Are you trying to get yourself killed?
L
Ordinarily, McCoy wouldn’t be a man to look unexpected leave in the proverbial mouth. But Jocelyn had Joanna off-planet for some educational opportunity he hadn’t paid enough attention to when she’d explained it. And while Pike had issued an open invitation for drinking and socializing, it felt an awful lot like a pity fuck without the fucking.
Maybe he’d take in a goddamn movie.
His screened pinged at him before McCoy could contemplate actually leaving his quarters to go see whatever dross was passing for entertainment these days. Probably something with that Urban fellow all the nurses were swooning over.
Bones, Bones, Bones, I would never. You’d kill me if I got myself killed without you here to tell me what an idiot I was being.
Morbid humor aside, seriously, it took us all by surprise. The crew was amazing; I wish you’d been here to see them.
Jim
That warm feeling in his chest was probably just lunch repeating on him.
Dear Jim,
Listen, kid, I don’t need more reason to be afraid of you dying on my table, okay? Keep yourself out of trouble. In fact, what are you even doing up? It’s the middle of the damn night there.
L
McCoy scowled at the chrono - it really was the middle of the damn night and all good little captains, especially ones who were probably lying and minimizing their injuries, needed to get some damn rest. Maybe he could comm M’Benga, get the man to head over to Jim’s with a hypo of sedative and a tricorder. That was usually McCoy’s job but in absentia...
Another ping pulled his attention back to his screen before he could work himself up into too high a dudgeon.
I am totally already in bed, Bonesy. Geoff hit me with something from your approved list a minute ago so I think I may actually be high as a kite. It’s distracting and I can’t sleep. My sheets feel good though.
Well then. Looked like McCoy owed M’Benga a night off if he’d managed to harrangue Jim into accepting some form of treatment. Man hadn’t gotten it entirely right if Jim were still awake but the stoned effect was a pretty typical response to the fairly mild painkillers Jim would allow. McCoy cracked a smile. Then he grabbed his PADD and shut the viewscreen again. Jim was going to be up for a while; might as well keep him company - and McCoy might as well be comfortable while he did it.
He shucked the clothes he’d been fretting with even before Jim’s message and donned the soft sleep pants he favored. Jocelyn had always tried to get him to sleep naked but he liked a little security between his tender parts and the environment, thank you very much. He tucked himself between his own quite satisfactory sheets. Hotel beds were definitely a perk.
Dear Jim,
Tell Geoff to give you a hit of an old-school benzo if you need to sleep.
McCoy shifted, curled up on his side.
But this seems like a golden damn opportunity for you to tell me what’s been going on in my absence. Any change in our betting situation? Don’t think Klingons will stop me from collecting.
L
The PADD gave its little noise signalling an incoming message before McCoy could even put the damn thing down.
No change, all systems normal as far as that situation goes. She keeps standing real close though - and I think she may be sending him dirty messages on shift. Sulu got all red and uncomfortable for about twenty minutes before the first shots were fired. I know that look - that look is the look of a man getting explicit promises promised.
He had to laugh at that. It sound like Rand was amping up her seduction game.
Jim - What kind of promise can you offer me that you didn’t just orchestrate this little intergalactic incident to save yourself 200 credits? That there’s a woman who’s going to get her man.
L
The bet had been made in jest. But Leonard Horatio McCoy was not a man who liked to lose.
I swear, Bonesy, I thought he and Chekov had a thing. I’m usually pretty good at picking up on these things.
If they’d been throwing back a drink in Jim’s quarters, this would be the moment, McCoy knew, when Jim flushed a little bit and wouldn’t make eye contact. How many years had they been friends and Jim still couldn’t come right out and say he fucked men, tried to act like McCoy didn’t know Jim enjoyed it from both sides? From all sides really but it was Jim’s relationships with men that they danced around.
Jim, I can assure you Chekov’s interests lay elsewhere. The kind of elsewhere that’s female and a bit older. Your ability to pick up on “these things” is trumped by my unfortunate first-hand knowledge. I’m just saying that kid is even paler when he doesn’t have any pants on.
That got precisely the reaction McCoy had figured it would.
BONES YOU HAVE BEEN HOLDING OUT ON ME.
Another message arrived on the heels of the first.
BONES BONES BONES, BONES WHAT DID YOU SEE?
Jim had an unholy love of caps lock at the best of times.
Jim, Wouldn’t be gentlemanly to share all the dirty little details. Let’s just say the next time Chekov gives you those puppy eyes, you shouldn’t fall for the innocent act, and leave it at that.
L
It had been undeniably hot. Even if McCoy had never ever wanted to see his boss in that sort of position. That sort of flexible position. Chekov had just shrugged and muttered something about the sex drives of older women. McCoy had backed away and locked the door behind him.
The ping of his PADD made McCoy smile into his pillow. Jim just needed some company on nights like this was all. And it felt good, like the early days of their friendship at the Academy.
McCoy laughed aloud and typed up his reply with nimble fingers.
***
The buzz of his door alarm pulled McCoy from a groggy dream that he started to forget as soon as he opened his eyes. He’d been comfortable, though, somewhere familiar. He blinked against the harsh summons of the sound. “Computer, identify visitor.” It was a damn wonder the computer could understand him - McCoy could barely understand his own gravel voice.
“Admiral Christopher Pike.”
McCoy groaned and pushed himself up on his elbows. The computer took that as a response - which shouldn’t have come as a surprise given how often he’d grunted commands at the thing.
“Rise and shine, McCoy.” Pike was relentlessly cheerful. But even he stopped when he caught a glimpse of McCoy. “Is that... McCoy, you have a PADD stuck to your face.”
He was all-over numb, too close to sleep to really have any connection to his nerve impulses just at the moment. McCoy grumbled and batted at his face and, sure enough, his PADD fell back onto his pillow. The blinking light caught his eye - two messages.
bones, go to sleep bones talk to you tomorrow
and
Bones! You aren’t up yet? Slacker. I’m cleared for Bridge duty, light action only so I promise no engagements. We’ll talk later, yeah?
McCoy groaned and buried his face in his pillow. He’d gotten used to a routine, dammit, to a good 8 hours of sleep unless there was an emergency. Trading messages all night - he wasn’t a damn teenaged girl.
“Come on, Leonard - welcome to the first day of the rest of your guest lecturer position.”
Pike was an asshole, drinks and work aside. Maybe McCoy could smother his own self if he tried hard enough.
***
It hadn’t been a joke - Pike had pulled some strings and, somehow, McCoy wasn’t interested in asking how, secured an office and a lecture schedule for McCoy in the medical wing. It’d been a hell of a day, an exhausting day.
And it had been a good day, too. Pike had waited for McCoy to shower, had plied him with coffee and some sort of flaky Risan pastry that tasted like it involved a great deal of butter. Then they’d zipped off to the medical school where McCoy had been treated like a goddamn visiting dignitary. He’d sat with a fresh-faced cadet who was apparently that most magical of things: a personal assistant - he’d sat with the young man and they’d laid out a schedule of lectures. Ambitious, perhaps, to start in two days, but McCoy wasn’t afraid of a challenge, particularly when it came to producing better doctors.
McCoy toed off his boots, pulled his tunic over his head. A shower would be just the damn thing. Then he had to head back out for drinks. Pike had invited him to join some of the higher-ups - it’d be good to have a chance to sit down with Phillip Boyce, at the very least. And if he could confirm the rumors about Pike and Boyce and the mysterious woman who still only went by One, well, that was just a bonus. A bonus for which Jim would owe him significantly more credits than he already did over the Sulu situation.
“Aw, shit.” McCoy had been headed for the bathroom; he reversed himself, sat down at his console instead. He hadn’t had a lick of time to respond to Jim’s comm from that morning.
Jim,
Chris - Admiral Pike - pulled some kind of damn miracle off and put me to work. No vacation for me - so you’ve got no reason to be jealous. I’ve got to meet Chris and some other people for drinks - talk later? In the meantime, get some sleep, you idiot.
L
The shower was hot, the water was plentiful, and the soap was actually a fancy sandalwood body wash he’d picked up on his way back. McCoy had grown to love the Enterprise but Earth had sonic showers beat by a Georgia country mile. He lathered up, enjoyed the slippery feel of clean skin under his hands as he washed himself. A shower wasn’t all he needed, honestly. A few of the nurses had made eyes at him - it had been a jarring reminder of just how long he’d depended on himself for relief. McCoy was a relationship man; but even relationship men needed to get laid sometimes.
He had a hand around his growing erection when the cheerful sound of a new message rang out, muffled through the door but persistent. Probably Jim. Damn kid. Damn damn damn. It was exasperation, pure and simple - but it was fond exasperation. And the only reason it wasn’t more than fond was Jim himself. Well, and maybe some reserve on McCoy’s own part as well. He had a best friend. It’d be outright greedy to ask for more. And Jim was so defensive anyway, when it came to men. McCoy slicked his hands over his arms. If Jim couldn’t admit to having a thing for cock, McCoy had no damn reason to think the kid would be amenable to changing things up between them.
McCoy sighed, gave his dick a few more half-hearted strokes before giving it up as a bad job. Talk about a boner killer.
The towel was fluffier than the ones he used on the Enterprise, too. Maybe he’d take some back. Man in his position, he needed to start taking his pleasures where he could find them. Which... was a hell of a depressing thought.
It would be better, maybe, to call Chris - Pike - hell, McCoy didn’t even know what to call the man anymore. It would be better to call the whole drinks thing off, decline the friendly invite. “Leonard, that is your goddamn social anxiety talking. Get your ass dressed and go make nice with the fancy suits.” If there was one thing he’d remembered today, it was that there was no stopping Christopher Pike when the man was on a mission.
Still, his movements were slow as he pulled on dress pants and a crisp, dark shirt. He kept his gaze away from the console but his mood had already shifted to something more melancholy. He hadn’t intended to nurse a little bit of a flame for Jim Kirk. And it was just about past time he got over it.
McCoy’s resolve lasted until he had a foot out of his door. He stopped, shook his head, and turned on his heel. The console was seven steps from the door. He sat, careful not to wrinkle his pants.
Oooh, on a first name basis with the brass now, Bonesy? Don’t let that dirty old man in your pants; you know you belong to the Enterprise and she’d be hurt if you cheated on her. Enjoy your drinks - and, you know, comm me when you get back if you feel like catching up. Nothing momentous to report. I just kind of, anyway, it isn’t the same without you here.
The smile that spread across his face was completely involuntary. McCoy typed out his response before he could think twice and stop himself.
Jim,
I ain’t wearing a chastity belt, and the Enterprise has never propositioned me for any sort of exclusive relationship. If I’m not back too late, I’ll pop you a message, touch base before I crash.
L
***
Good intentions really did pave the way to hell, McCoy thought when he rolled over and blinked open gummy eyes far too early for the second morning in a row. It was dark wherever he was - and that bastard Chris was humming something tuneless that still managed to sound both innocently cheerful and smug as all sin.
Too much to drink - he’d never underestimate his superior officers again. As Phil had put it sometime between the last bar they’d visited and the greasy spoon they’d stopped at for some food to soak up all the alcohol, the extra years had just given them more time to practice.
It wasn’t until the mattress - a very fine mattress, McCoy had to admit - shifted that he started from his regretful ruminations and realized he wasn’t alone in bed.
Shit. Oh, shit.
McCoy squeezed his eyes shut - it seemed to help his memory. Yeah, that had been a very fine Chris Pike in his lap at some point, with the wiry hot body of Phil Boyce behind him. One - as gorgeous as he’d always heard whispered and twice as sharp at poker - had been reclining, watching, directing.The three of them had taken care of his getting-laid problem in fairly spectacular fashion.
The slide of a smooth heel against his calf made him sit up - and the pounding of his head made him fall back again. McCoy’s groan was answer by a low, female chuckle. One, it was One still in bed with him. Oh, for fuck’s sake.
“Good morning, Leonard. Have you already begun to regret our encounter or would you be amenable to morning intercourse?” That was a warm breast pressed against his side. “Phillip and Christopher are distressingly early risers.”
Her voice was hot breath on the side of his neck. McCoy weighed his options. No one was threatening to court martial him and it would just be rude to turn a lady down. Especially one who’d gone out of her way to show him such a good time last night...
McCoy rolled over a bit, tucked One’s lithely muscular form closer to his own body. “Wouldn’t be much of a gentleman if I said no to that kind of request.” He’d panic later. Much later.
***
The four of them had spent the day lazing around Chris’s apartment, though McCoy had tried, awkward and stilted, to thank everyone for a lovely evening and leave the second time he’d woken up. They had convinced him, somehow, to at least stay for breakfast. That had turned into making out over lazy cups of coffee. The day had continued in the same vein until One had needed to leave for an appointment and offered McCoy a ride back to his room. She was apparently the only one of them capable of giving McCoy a graceful exit. Chris had kissed him at the door, told him they’d see each other on campus. Phil had pinched McCoy’s ass and tickled his ear with that mustache; no one had made any promises.
“Your distress is not very well disguised.” One kept her eyes on the road - the old-fashioned vehicle was sleek and hungry, devouring the curves of the road. McCoy held on to his seatbelt and tried to moderate the glare he’d been directing at the dashboard. Jim would have loved this car.
“I don’t have any complaints, I don’t mean that. I’m just not very sure what the rules are in these sorts of situations and I tend toward pessimism.” It was, if not a gracious answer, at least polite. He’d have to be satisfied with that.
One was a woman with very good posture. Even when she’d been slumped across Phil’s chest in exhaustion, McCoy could hear her posture in her voice. Something had softened though; she managed an indulgent tone that made McCoy’s scalp tingle behind his ears. “There are no rules, Leonard.”
And if that wasn’t the guiding philosophy of every goddamn Starfleet captain he knew then McCoy didn’t know what was.
“You’ll forgive me if I disagree there.” There were always expectations, pitfalls McCoy missed, traps he fell into when he thought he’d finally found his confident footing. “In my experience, there’s always rules for us ordinary folk.”
Phil had snorted like that, amused and derisive all at the same time. One must have learned it from him. “You apply my meaning too broadly. In our private life, Leonard Horatio McCoy, we set our own standards.” Her regard shifted from the road to him for a moment. “We wanted you. You wanted us. Save your remorse for actual transgression.”
He flushed, studied the dash again. “I apologize. I told you, I’m not very good at these sorts of things.”
The car stopped, as smooth and controlled as the ride had been. One’s eyes were sharp and chilly when she turned to face McCoy more fully. He felt a keener awareness of her prickle through him: she had been judged the superior individual of her generation on her planet, that meant something real, wasn’t just a string of slightly discomfiting words. “Tell me, Leonard, why you are so afraid of pain.”
It was not a question. There was no choice but to answer her. “I like my life. I don’t want to fuck it up.” That was half of it - and as she stared at him, patient as a spider, McCoy sighed, rubbed his hands over his face, and gave her the rest. “I know how low I’ve been; I don’t want to go there again, and I don’t want to find out there’s someplace lower.” It caught him sometimes, the memory of his own drunk-sour mouth in the morning, too-bright light an assault, papers signing his life away sitting like laed in his pocket. It was true now, though - McCoy did like his life. It wasn’t his old life, not by any stretch of the imagination, but he had things to lose. Things he didn’t want to see the back side of. “I have enough regrets.”
One’s lips, lips that had been wrapped around his cock just that afternoon, curved into a surprising smile, austere and gentle. “You’re young, Leonard. If you never have anything else to regret, you will have lived quite a safe and tragic existence indeed.”
He flinched away from it; One leaned over to kiss him anyway, once on each cheek. “Take more risks. And join us for dinner tomorrow - less drinking, more food. We like you; you can make your own rules for that.”
McCoy closed the car door softly behind him. He stumbled to his room. It was entirely the same, but he felt entirely different, at least for now. Take more risks, she’d said. Maybe he would, just maybe he would. But the thing with her and Chris and Phil, that wasn’t really risky, was it? It had been clear enough that they did like him - but they loved each other. And McCoy wasn’t going to confuse what his heart felt and his dick felt again - he’d made that mistake already.
His head made a solid thudding noise when he knocked his forehead against the closed door. That steady sound wasn’t his ears ringing - it was the insistent ping of his console.
Fuck a goddamn duck. He’d forgotten about Jim.
Hey, Bones, guess you’re still out partying with the upper echelon. I’m in for the night so hit me up whenever you get in. You know how I am.
Jim didn’t sleep enough.
Bones? I fell asleep for a little while there - it’s, what, 4am there now? You really are tearing it up; wish I were there to see it. Don’t think we’ve gone out like that since our first semester at the Academy.
They’d both been hurting - bruised up on the inside if not the outside. There’d been a fair amount of blunting things with alcohol - McCoy had gone to class in a numb haze on more than one occasion. But they’d cleaned up, found their places, gotten sucked into the challenges presented by their coursework. They’d found themselves.
Hey, uh, Bones, are you okay? It’s the middle of alpha shift and I haven’t heard anything from you. Can you just comm me, let me know you aren’t dead in a ditch with Pike and crew and somewhere? Um, please don’t be dead?
Middle of alpha... McCoy would have been waking up to coffee provided by Phil and Chris at that point.
So, um, I’m not hearing anything back from Pike either - Bones, seriously, if you’re dead when you’re supposed to be safe on Earth I am never going to forgive you. Just... comm me, okay? Please?
There it was right there - that tight feeling in his chest. If McCoy wanted risky... Jim was risky. He closed his eyes, rubbed his hands over his face again. He and Phil had shared a shower, talking idly about medical developments, articles they’d both read. He didn’t smell like sex anymore, at least.
Dear Jim,
Hey, kid, I’m sorry.
McCoy paused, unsure. He had to say something, he wasn’t just going to leave Jim hanging.
I wound up crashing at Chris’s place, didn’t check my messages, sorry. If I ever get cocky about my ability to hold my liquor? Remind me about last night.
And, listen, I apologize, you know, for not letting you know I was okay. I didn’t realize you’d worry so much.
L
Early to bed - his first lecture was first thing in the morning. And for the rest of the afternoon... McCoy chuckled. He’d catch up on his reading. That was safe. Hell, that was virtuous. He’d think about this later.
He’d just managed to find his place in the novel he’d picked up on the shuttle to Earth when the console beeped again. McCoy sighed. No rest - he must be more wicked than he thought.
Oh, holy shit, it’s good to hear from you, Bones. I was getting ready to comm Fernandez, see if he’d start checking the hospitals for a totally hot amnesiac grouch. What the hell, man? I’m glad you crashed at Pike’s place but WHAT THE HELL?
Oh, hell. McCoy could read between the lines - Jim had been seriously worried.
Jim,
I’m sorry, I really am. I didn’t mean to worry you - I really was drunk as all hell; I woke up in bed this morning and didn’t even know where I was or who I was with. I swear, I didn’t plan any of that.
L
He hit send before he realized what he’d typed.
The ping of the console wasn’t even a surprised anymore.
DID YOU FUCK PIKE?
It was only three in the afternoon. Too early for decent men to turn to alcohol - and he’d had enough anyway. It was a damn shame he hadn’t managed to smother himself when Chris came calling, bright and early yesterday morning.
My memory isn’t real clear on that point, actually. I know I’m sore as all hell. But that could have been any of them.
L
That, in retrospect, might have been too much information.
ANY OF THEM? WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN MEAN BONES?
Definitely too much information.
Jim,
Listen, Jim, don’t worry about it. I’m back in my room and everything’s totally okay. Okay? Okay.
L
Another message came in as soon as he’d hit send.
You know what, Bones? Don’t even tell me. I don’t want to hear it. I was worried and you were out - no, fine, don’t worry about it. I’m glad you’re not dead. I’ve got shit to do, I’ll talk to you later.
McCoy stared at the screen. Then he closed it, picked up his article, and stared off into space.
***
After three days of silence, McCoy sent another message. He’d joined Chris and Phil and One for dinner and more but, as much as he’d enjoyed himself, it had just further convinced him. If he was going to risk anything, he knew who he’d risk it for.
Dear Jim,
Haven’t heard from you in a few days. I’m not worried, I know you’re doing just fine. I just wanted to, I don’t know. I just wanted to apologize again. And tell you that I miss you. I miss you, kid.
L
He was a doctor, dammit, not a poet.
***
After a full week had passed, McCoy tried again.
Dear Jim,
Guess this is the part where you would tell me you aren’t speaking to me - except you aren’t speaking to me and me not being there makes that a little harder to get across than usual. I don’t have anything to be sorry for, other than not staying in touch. But I am sorry about that.
I saw the new itinerary. I don’t know how you shaved those days off but I’m glad you’re getting here early. It’ll be good to get home, Jim. Feels strange to be saying it, all things considered. But the Enterprise is home.
See you in a week.
L
***
It took another day and half for his PADD to ping at him. He was in the middle of a lecture; the noise caught him off guard enough that he stopped mid-sentence. There was a ringing silence in the lecture hall, and then the shock was broken by a nervous giggle from somewhere in the audience.
“Sorry about that, y’all. Today’s object lesson - always turn your noises off when you’re with patients. They deserve your damn attention, all of it.”
But McCoy, for once, did not practice what he preached - his students had, at most, half of his attention. The rest was occupied, poking at what Jim might have written him (and it had to be Jim, no one else had that comm address) as though the unread comm were a loose tooth. He ended early, told them to ask each other their questions and come back to him with the answers at the next lecture. Then McCoy trotted to his office, restraining himself from a dead run; he had his dignity.
At least he had a little of it.
Bones - It’ll be good to have you home. Just... just make sure you come back home, okay?
McCoy slumped back in his chair. Of course he was going home. Of course, that had never been a question.
Jim, Jim, of course I’m coming back. What are you thinking? Seriously.
L
***
He’d made it all the way to his room, PADD clutched in his waiting hand, before a response came in.
Pike told me about the lecture thing you’ve got going. And then you, you know, with Pike and whoever else. And. Well. You’d be closer to Joanna. And you wouldn’t have to worry about space.
That was rid-damn-diculous. McCoy stomped around his quarters, changed into his sleep pants even though it was early. He’d declined the now-standing invitation to join Chris and the others as soon as Jim’s message came in.
Jim,
You’re a damn fool.
L
McCoy didn’t even realize he was smiling.
Where do you get off calling me names, Bones? You’re the one sleeping with, um, well, I know you’re screwed Pike. You’re gonna tell me it’s none of my business. But you’re part of my crew. And that makes it my business.
That... wasn’t what McCoy was expecting. Not by a long shot.
It isn’t your business. You’ve never shown any interest in my personal life as far as that goes so I don’t know why you’re so hot under the collar now.
What’s going on in that head of yours?
L
Jim was so damn exasperating. There was no other word for it.
You’re so goddamn clueless, Bones. I’ve got delta shift. I’ll comm you later.
The room had a distinct chill. He hadn’t noticed it before. McCoy sighed.
Jim,
That’s fine, kid. I’ll look forward to it; maybe you’ll enlighten me. It’s gotta be said - I ain’t the only one running around with blinders on, you just think on that.
L
***
He was going to have to have a talk with someone about this waking up at ass o’clock in the morning nonsense. McCoy couldn’t even identify what it was that had made him shift awake. Then the noise came again. He groped for the PADD.
I know it’s the middle of the night there. I hope this doesn’t wake you - but I guess I kind of hope you’re awake, too. I miss you, Bones. And, it’s possible that I was jealous. Just a little. Comm me when you wake up? I just really want to know you’re around and thinking about me, too.
It was warm and comfortable in his bed. And McCoy, all of a sudden, had never felt more lonely.
Jim,
Just woke up. Miss you, too. I didn’t know you wanted to sleep with Chris. I think he might feel real fatherly toward you.
L
His eyes slid closed and he breathed, deep and regular, cozy. McCoy waited.
Bones, go back to sleep, Bones... it’s not Chris I want to sleep with, okay?
If it had been the middle of the day, the afternoon or the evening, McCoy would have brushed it off. But in the middle of the night, in the dark and the heat, he decided to take a risk.
Dear Jim,
All you have to do is ask.
L
The wait was long enough that McCoy almost fell asleep.
Bones?
His fingers were clumsy but he managed a response.
Jim,
Yeah?
L
***
He woke up without his alarm. McCoy fumbled for his PADD.
Sleep tight, Bones. We’ll talk more tomorrow, okay? I believe you. I do. Four more days.
Jim
It was something. It was a start. McCoy stretched.
Four more days.
