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Title: Bones under the bed in Jim's quarters with a pair of ladies underwear
Author: [personal profile] sharpestscalpel
Character/Pairing(s): McCoy/himself (observed Kirk/unnamed female)
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 633
Warnings: None
Disclaimer: If I owned them, there's no telling what I'd actually be doing with them.
Notes: This is for the [community profile] jim_and_bones Where In the Galaxy? prompt fest. The prompt came from [personal profile] withthepilot.



It was nothing resembling a dignified position. It was what he got for being a damn snoop anyway, though. His mama - Leonard was not going to think about his mama at a time like this, no matter what she'd always said.

A silky scrap of lacy something fell off the squeaking bed above Leonard's head. Oh, for fuck's sake.

"Yeah, that's it, baby, so good."

Leonard buried his head in his hands. He'd snuck into Jim's room just to... he didn't even know why, really. He'd just wanted to see where Jim spent his time when he wasn't with Leonard - which wasn't all that much time. Though apparently it was plenty of time to pick up a coed - with expensive taste in underwear by the looks of things - and bring her home. Leonard had dived under the bed out of some misbegotten reflex when the door had whooshed open. High-pitched, feminine moans joined Jim's raspy voice - at least Jim was good at whatever it was he was doing.

It could have been worse, Leonard was sure. He wasn't entirely sure how....

Ah, that was how.

Leonard inched his hand down to press a palm flat against the interested rise of his own cock. The vigorous sex sounds above his head were not for his benefit, he knew that, he really did.

Try telling that to his dick.

He could call it an involuntary response to external stimuli all he wanted but at the end of the day, Leonard McCoy was hiding under his best friend's bed, staring at a pair of purple panties and rubbing up against his own hand to get a little friction through his pants. Classy, Leonard, classy, his internal monologue muttered. But it wasn't enough to make him stop. Jim didn't seem to be slowing down - the noises were getting louder and faster, and, really, fine, he would admit it if he had to - it was hot as hell to listen in. A little auditory voyeurism never hurt anybody, right?

The sound of his zip seemed loud but nobody else seemed to take any notice of it. Leonard exhaled slow and low through his nostrils, relieved at the pleasure of his hand. He'd... been doing this a lot since the divorce. That was okay. He knew what he liked and it made him an extra cheap date.

He had his dick in his hand, that meant he was committed. Leonard paused in his stroking just long enough to grab the panties that he'd been staring at. He fingered the crotch - wet clean through.

That notched him right up tighter, wound him more thoroughly than just about anything else had lately - that and his own fingers, rubbing the underside and then over the crown of his cock, pushed him up against the edge of orgasm.

It was not the woman's near-scream that tipped him over; it was Jim's low groan, heart-felt and muffled as the bed stopped its shaking and its racket, hung there like a held breath, that had Leonard coming, careful to catch as much as he could in the palm of his hand so that when he got out of this, if he ever got out of this, he could make his escape without being covered in semen.

Except the bed creaked and masculine feet settled onto the floor right next to Bones's head. Had they been upside down? Leonard didn't have time to ponder it - Jim's blond head appeared, grinned under the bed at Leonard, pants barely open enough, cock still in his hand.

"Well, hey there, Bones. Did you have a nice time?"
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