More shit I got to do, more fucking paperwork there is.

[sharpestscalpel]

Jesus fucking his goddamn Virgin mother Mary up against the wall, people, it’s been a fucking busy bit of business on this side of the goddamn interdimensional divide, not that you heard me say anything of the fucking sort because who knows what the shitting Empire would make of that at this point and I have got me some personal plans that don’t need disturbing.

What’s shaping up in your damn neck of the woods?

((OOC – Hey, y’all! I was out of town all weekend – I got to run around a con with [Bad username or site: ”rn_chapel” @ livejournal.com] and many several friends and it was awesome but I definitely missed getting in some good RP. Hi!))

Comments

[lt-moreau.livejournal.com]

Funny you should choose that particular turn of phrase. In this damn neck of the woods, there has been a fair amount of fucking up against the wall. And I hear there was a trial.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

Aw, fuck, y'all get hit with some sex pollen or something? Everybody's arms and legs still in goddamn working order? Treated a kid over here after a thing with sex pollen - his dick broke clean off.

I ain't all that interested in legal proceedings, being, as I am, on the straight and narrow side of the fucking law at all times and my sealed records ain't going to damn well tell you otherwise.

Oh, wait, this that shit with Ears and Tentpole?

[lt-moreau.livejournal.com]

Something like that, apparently. I haven't gotten laid that much since I first met Jim Kirk.

If by Ears and Tentpole you mean the pair of Romulans with the crazy sentient romulomorphic ship, then yes.

[dilithiumwanted.livejournal.com]

...The Vulcans kicked me off of my own boat for being "too illogical".

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

Pointy-eared bastards. You got to argue with them in words they understand, which is to say you got to hit them with the vocabulary, man. Vulcans're suckers for a good vocabulary. Suck your cock quicker'n a whore waiting on her money, you got a good enough grasp of the language and rhetoric of argument. Green-blooded freaks between the sheets, I tell you goddamn what.

[dilithiumwanted.livejournal.com]

I was pretty closed to getting nerve-pinched, if T'tang's face was anything to go by.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

Yeah, they get that fucking pinchy look around the eyes. Watch out for that. Nerve pinch'll leave you with a fuck of a headache, if they don't damn well kill you while you're out.

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

As far as we can tell, it was sex soda, actually. And... So far no dicks breaking off, thankfully.

How're those personal plans coming?

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

Soda? Y'all got infected coca cola over there? What kind of shit is y'all's universe coming to, you can't even damn well drink a coca cola in peace? Goddamn.

Not too shabby. Puppy's learning a few new tricks and making friends with the rest of the crew, so to speak.

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

I know, right? Spread by touch, too--I didn't even have any. Can't say it was all bad...

You mean there's something left to teach him? Glad to see he's getting along, at least.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

Hey, you fuck Pasha? Peaches, I mean?

And, yeah, we're both learning a trick or two.

[nawigator]

Sex pops and stuff. And I found out that Vulcans can flirt, something I never knew.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

Vulcan's'll flirt your eyeballs right out of your head, missy. Did you go doing all that business with the hands after I done told you it was sexy for them?

Pop? Where the hell are you from they call it pop? It's soda. Or coca cola.

[nawigator]

No! I was sitting in a cafe and one came over and started flirting with me until a friend came over and then he sort of ran away.

Yes, in Russia we refer to it as поп which mean pop.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

Look at you, Peaches, making friends and influencing people. Damn proud, I am.

How'd you make out in all this sex coca cola business?

Fucking Russia. Y'all just don't know what's right even though you've got a damn Georgia there.

[t-vau.livejournal.com]

Greetings.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that seems to be what you're fucking offering.

[t-vau.livejournal.com]

Indeed.

It is traditional to return the address.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

I may be old-fashioned but I ain't always one to follow tradition, see.

Seen anything interesting on that damn planet?

[dctr-mccoy.livejournal.com]

Hey dipshit.

Was gettin' worried 'bout your sorry ass. Glad to see you're okay.

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

Oh, I'm dandy like fucking candy, douchebag. Hear you got yourself a sex coca cola problem though. You get all fucked up like the rest of these bastards?

[dctr-mccoy.livejournal.com]

Oh you got no idea, otherself. Fucked up doesn't half-cover it.

[loyalty-ever.livejournal.com]

Pointy!

How in hell's teeth are you? Long time no observe, right?

No matter how bad it is, it could always be worse.

...Ugh, paperwork. Do your requisition forms have requisition forms, too?

[sharpestscalpel.livejournal.com]

Heya, Tentpole, how the fuck you doing? Heard something something trial something I don't even goddamn know. What the shit's going on with that?

Yeah, Empire rules through fucking forms in triplicate or some goddamn thing.

[loyalty-ever.livejournal.com]

They all made a face JUST LIKE THIS and went on for a full month about very bad things and the very bad Romulans who do them.

I'm still not sure when, if ever, they'll realize they now have the formulation for red matter and could take over the fucking universe. If they'd pause a moment and weigh all our worth, and not just sneer at what displeases them, we could give them the quadrant on a pretty golden platter.

I mean. Acceptable losses, or total control of their home space? They always make the choice so difficult. One does break eggs in the making of breakfast.

At least the ridgeheads didn't fill our ears with prattle.

...You still "got eyes"?

Hell, I figure I can tell you. I. Am not spending. The next century in this little box.

Hah! Red tape, the indestructible constant. Have you considered disposal by singularity?

I think the phrase is OM NOM NOM. Black holes are magical. Anyway, I heard...you've got a someone, couldn't he sign them for you?